Gibby's Rant

Why Obama Won the Nobel Prize

2009-10-09T18:39:00.000-07:00

Like many of you I was surprised to see that Obama had won the Nobel Peace Prize.

And frankly like some of the conservatives I wondered why.

What I suspect is that aside from being a swipe at the Bush regime, the prize once again shows how much influence the United States has on the world. The election of President whose wife is four generations removed from the most dehumanizing slave systems known to humankind really speaks volumes for the breadth of opportunity in this country.

I can understand the GOP not necessarily being supportive of Obama's policies. But their responses are now growing to the point of being anti-American and I cannot see how that bodes well for them. The Nobel committee may have thought that Obama's selection signaled the beginning of a world order where all peoples would be welcome at the table and that peace might be achieved through true dialogue and not only by threats of terror or militaristic force.

But who am I? I congratulate the President, he has received a tremendous honor and his work has just begun.

But before I conclude, I believe that there will be a special place in the Hades of ignorance and stupidity for RNC Chair Michael "I will suck your dick, Rush" Steele. Sometimes when a thought passes through you Mike stifle it because your mouth has a chronic case of IBS and it's stinking up the joint.

Happy weekend all.

Whatever Happened to Customer Service

2009-10-05T13:32:00.000-07:00

I was in New Orleans last week, and I went to a Subway shop. As I approached the shop a man stopped to ask for 50 cents. He wanted to tell me a long drawn out story about the bus and all that jazz but I said curtly I don't have any change and to my surprise he said thanks for listening.

Hmmm, what an interesting response, I thought as I went into the shop. I was shocked back to life as a woman who looked as if she had been the victim of the tattoo tsunami came to take my order

Sandwich Artist: What you gittin?

Gibbs: Pardon me?

Sandwich Artist: In a louder voice What you gittin?

Gibbs: Did you say What you gittin?

Sandwich Artist: Do you speak English

Gibbs: Do you know you look like a sideshow freak (thought) Actually quite well, your greeting was most unusual. (said)

Sandwich Artist: What u say

Gibbs: Let me git three chocolate chip cookies

Sandwich Artist You got it baby

Gibbs Thank you ma'am

Sandwich Artist I ain't your mama

Gibbs Pardon me why u say that

Sandwich Artist I ain't old enough to be a ma'am Here be yo cookies

Gibbs Thank you.

As I exit the store still flabbergasted by the encounter I see homes who asked for 50 cents He is staring at me very hard. I said are you the guy who asked me for 50 cents here's a dollar, keep the change.

Thank you now I can catch the bus.....got to buy my baby some pampers...need a better job. He said as I walked away.

It's Been a Long Time

2009-09-30T16:03:00.000-07:00

Greetings all:

It has been a while since I have blogged about anything. I got so caught up in Obamamania that I did not take time to give you updates on the inner workings of my life.

I am now working in a new field. Yes I left the airport gig, it was great fun but being at work at 4 am gets real tired real fast. And the Lord knew my needs and He provided a new job which has kept me quite busy for the last few months.

To Ms. Stella I just want you to know everything about the airport and the csr and the gate agent is still true. But here is my new pet peeve.

Every airline now has some special boarding lane for first class, business class and super premium customers.

Now my fellow fliers. You know if you are in one of those groups. Therefore do not block the entrance when it is time to board be patient your boarding group will be called. And as long as you are in the gate area they will not leave without you.

I am not finished. About the boarding groups read your damn boarding passes if you are in group 4 then you don't get to go on with group 2 just because u got there early. And to all you brilliant yo-yo's who think it is cool to put your carryon in the front of the plane when your ass is in the back quit it. Put the bag closet to your seat.

I am flying a lot lately and I have a love hate relationship with Chicago OHare. The cut backs in flights have made it a much nicer place to transfer but those announcements get on my last nerve.

It is good to rant again. I may get this up and going again. Thanks Stella for getting on my case.

Life Changes

2008-06-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

Now that I have moved to the heartland, I found out that my new nonprofit has had to cut back on benefits to keep paying us a salary. Well I have been working too many years to live without benefits so I have been blessed to find a job in another shaky industry that is currently paying benefits. That's right I am a part time employee of a major US airline.

Personally, working on the other side of the ticket counter makes me understand how boorish the traveling public generally behaves.

First, the folk behind the counter are NOT responsible for airline policies and fees regarding checked bags, overweight bags or over sized bags. We are simply doing our job. 50 lbs is 50 lbs and depending on your attitude we will charge you the requisite fee for the overweight bag. Yelling at us, snatching things from us and all other forms of insolent behavior does not threaten us or scare us. So quit. And threatening to call customer relations is so scary to us that we will gladly give you the number. Quit acting like you are an IOWA (Idiot out wandering around) when you come to the airport go the web site or at least watch the latest television news so that you will know what charges and you can expect when you arrive at the airport.

Second, if you arrive at the airport after our cutoff time (also available on the website for each particular airport), do not act crazy when we say you have missed the flight. Do not for example say I can get there in 10 minutes. We close the door 10 minutes prior to departure in order to try to leave on time. And don't forget you have to go through security and don't even think of trying to check a bag if you are late. While we are sympathetic about the reason you did not arrive on time, your story is only one of many we will hear that day. You knew you were catching a plane get to the airport at least 1 hour prior to departure. By the way most times we will happily rebook for a fee at least $100-150.00 only if there is space available in your class of service.

Third, to all of you who think it is so great to get booked on Hotwire or Priceline beware of the multiple carrier booking. If your trip begins on Continental and you have a connection in Denver on Frontier, and there is bad weather or a mechanical or a crew problem on your outbound flight Continental cannot rebook you on a later Frontier flight.

Fourth, telling us that you are a mega flier does not overly impress us. You are certainly a valued customer but all of our customers need to be serviced. This is especially true at non hub stations. We will certainly give you the best service possible but your unruly behavior usually gets this reply. Oh they will take care of your problem in Chicago, Detroit, Minneapolis, Cleveland, Atlanta etc. If you act human we will be more than happy to go the extra mile for you. Remember for the most part we are union employees and unless we cuss you out, which we won't nothing you can say to us will change anything about our jobs. Compliments make us feel good only if we are self actualizing. Many of us are working to help you but remember most of us are part time and with the multi tiered system many of us are not making a lot of money.

Fifth, Thunderstorms, Tornadoes and other weather related delays are not under our control. I know it is sunny in Omaha, but your plane is coming from Atlanta and they have thunderstorms in the area. Check out the weather channel before you leave home and make sure that you have plenty of time between connections. Because yes they will leave you. Also flights cancelled because of weather are not the fault of the airline and you are on your own.

One last thing, when you approach the CSR we really have no idea of who you are and where u are going so please begin by presenting your identification and by saying i am traveling to ....

Happy travels see you at the airport...

Poor Geraldine

2008-03-13T03:24:00.000-07:00

Geraldine Ferraro will now be known not as the first woman to run for vice president of a major political party but now a wrinkled ignorant woman who is just this side of being a racist. That is so sad. That is so tragic. And should Hillary Clinton prevail she can also be credited with leading to her defeat. And the reason she will do this is because she is showing symptoms of advance white privilege syndrome. More about that later.

Yesterday, I readily admitted that Barack Obama was indeed lucky or blessed depending upon your perspective. I continue to admit that in this country we are lucky or blessed in some, if we experience some form of success.

We are lucky because there is almost always somebody who is more qualified, more polished, and better prepared to hold the positions we hold. Somewhere along the way we all catch a break or we happen to be in the right place at the right time. And do you all know who is also lucky or blessed? Hillary Rodham Clinton.

How many people do you know who get elected to the Senate from a state they just moved to? New Yorkers decided that she had the right skill set for the job. But she also caught a break, Rudy got sick. She also benefited from favorable press, the New York media was transfixed by this woman who endured a lot of public shame to prove that she was indeed the epitome of Tammy Wynette Stand by Your Man woman.

How else do you explain how a woman who was never elected to anything wins becomes one of 100? Being elected to the United States Senate is usually a sign that you have served your state for a long period of time, but Hillary left the White House and moved into the Senate. And I'm not mad at her. She grasped opportunity.

If life was always fair, Al Gore would have been President of the United States but he had the "bad" luck or the curse of being William Jefferson Clinton's Vice President during that Lewinsky thing. Although the economy was booming, the country was safe, the country was reeling because a woman kept a "nasty" dress in her closet.

So in a fit of nonsense we elected a Texas governor who had a recognizable name. Talk about luck.

We are in an uproar over the sick old white woman's comments because she once again displays the arrogance of white privilege. White privilege is a disease that affects many white people who all believe that they are entitled to be where they are or what they desire and anyone that is not white is simply lucky or caught a break or is genetically inclined should they find themselves in a favorable space.

Geraldine is Right Obama is Lucky!

2008-03-12T05:29:00.000-07:00

The sick old white lady who was the first woman to run as a vice presidential candidate of a major party is right. Senator Barack Obama is a lucky Black man. I feel really sad for her and for all the women like her who feel like they are missing out what should outrage them is the ineptitude of the Clinton campaign which is leading to a McClain victory in November.

And instead of debating his stead in life, he ought to go to Altoona, PA, and Wilkes Barre and Harrisburg and proclaim.

I am lucky to have been born in this country, where I was raised in an atmosphere that inspired me to be all that I could be. I was lucky to have been born in a country where brave men and women of all races and creeds stood against the racism and brought forth a great nation where there are opportunities for people who are willing to work hard to succeed.

I am lucky to have lived in a state where people were able to go beyond the color of my skin, and beyond my atypical name to hear my message and grasp my vision of what it means to serve our great country and to make it better.

He should shout, I am lucky to have been born in a multicultural and diverse society where I know that love knows no boundaries and that I understand the importance of building strong families where children are given a broad range of educational opportunities.

Actually I am more than lucky, I am as my name describes blessed. I am blessed to live in a country where I can embrace God through Jesus Christ and I was able to express my beliefs and celebrate my God without preventing others who choose to exercise their faith or beliefs differently.

And finally I am lucky and blessed to have this opportunity to expand the base of my party to include the young, the progressive and those who want to insure that every American is able to secure health care coverage without penalty, where every American family is able to pursue the dream of I higher education that I was lucky enough to experience. I am also lucky that we live in a country where people are able to go beyond scare tactics and realize that we need a policy that protects from the 9AM attacks, the middle of the morning attacks, a policy that allows this country to reclaim the respect we squandered in an ill advised war in Iraq which has not only drained our financial resources, to the point where the Iraqis have a massive surplus while we are laboring under a massive deficit. Our financial resources have weakened our currency which is leading to higher gas prices which in 2008 is hurting the family that has to drive to work. Our weak economy is costing many Americans their jobs and their homes and while Hillary and McClain want to fight over who was more wrong about Iraq I want to bring you back to work, bring your home out of foreclosure, and allow the opportunity to keep your health up so you and I can work to bring America back.

I am so lucky and so blessed to be who I am so that I can work together with all of you who are lucky and blessed to be a part of this great nation and we can continue to keep it a great nation.

God bless America.

Mitt Romney and The Perfect Deception

2007-12-07T05:19:00.000-08:00

Mitt Romney is a Mormon. Now after all the discussion about his religion and his sect of the Christian realm, I still don't know what it means to be Mormon. I mean some aspects of the Mormon thing I like, you know having multiple wives--oh, officially they have dropped that. But I think there is some dl polygamy going on. And there are some things I don't like, you know, like black folks not being able to get into heaven--oh officially they dropped that too. Hey but I still gots much hate from that Mormon M/F who gave me a 3 out of 5 on my peer review.

But I digress, this whole controversy brings up the issue about religion and politics. Should faith play a role in the political process. As a member in good and regular standing at my local black church, I am ashamed at how politicos show up on Sunday morning during election season sharing about how much they love the Lord when the only reason they are there is to hawk their latest campaign.

Old change my mind Mitt, says you can't have religion without freedom and you can't have freedom without religion well, I am not so sure. The only way that freedom and religion can coexist is when we do not connect them to one another. Obivously having religion does not imply freedom because many religious people tend to veer away from the free will given by God to impose restraints on will by determining what is correct behavior. For example the mainline black church is stridently opposed to gay marriage in any form claiming it's not biblical. Thus a black candidate who would champion such a cause would be literally cursed from the pulpit and if he professed a religious faith it would be subject to ridicule.

Religion as we practice it on earth and freedom are mutually exclusive, constraints must be placed on the state if the citizens are going to be allowed to freely exercise their religious beliefs and all beliefs must be tolerated and the biggest opponents to this will be Christians.

Now did Mitt do the right thing? Absolutely, especially for the religious sect of his party his statement about his belief in Jesus as Son of God and Savior of Mankind was straight out of Huckabee's mouth and perhaps evidence that Romney is willing to deceive the American people to get his way. In using this language Romney is not telling Americans that he as many Mormons believe that Jesus is a secondary figure and far different from the "Heavenly Father." Many Christians are believers in the Trinity and this is what makes Romney's statement about Jesus as son and savior so disingenuous. He knows that we hear and translate what we want to hear and translate and in doing this in this manner he is showing us that he is not above the fray.

Conversations with Gibbs: Old Ass Gangstas

2007-10-16T04:20:00.000-07:00

Gibbs: Hello, Oh hey bruh what's up.

Mark: Did you hear about Raynall and Corey?

Gibbs: Naw man, what's up?

Mark: Dem brothas tried to carjack a Mustang?

Gibbs: Aw Hell Naw. What's up with those two? Those M/F ain't no damn kids.

Mark: I know. But they been wanna be gangstas forever.

Gibbs: Gotdamn man them boys old as s**t. Ain't Corey 35 and Raynall bout 40

Mark: Actually Corey is 37 and Raynall is the same age as Scooter and he is 42.

Gibbs: Did them stupid n-words get caught?

Mark: Aw dude you ain't heard nothin?

Gibbs: (To myself: Why don't people believe me when I say I don't keep up with the latest goings from "As the Ghetto Turns") Naw man I've been out of touch for a while.

Mark: Them boys got killed.

Gibbs: What!!!

Mark: Po-po chased them and they crashed on the interstate died instantly and wrecked the car.

Gibbs: Damn for real. That's sad man. What a waste.

Mark: You know they was my wife's cousin on her brother's daddy side.

Gibbs: In other words they were not blood relatives.

Mark: (After thinking for a minute) Damn Gibbs you right man. They ain't sh** to us.

Gibbs: Exactly.

Mark: Now I am gonna tell Carla we ain't giving nothin to help out with the funeral. Lorenzo called yesterday talking bout they ain't got no insurance and no money to bury them boyz. Talkin about we is family and we all got to pitch in.

Gibbs: And you was callin me to see if I would help out--right

Mark: Yeah I was how did you know?

Gibbs: you been a n-word a long time.

Mark: I guess that means you ain't got no money.

Gibbs: I gots money but I ain't contributing. Two elderly thugz trying to jack somebody's ride. How stupid was that?

Mark: Now they gonna have to get burned. You know that ain't biblical.

Gibbs: And I know they weren't spiritual biblical or literal for that matter. Gotta run cuz let me know about the service, I want to see if Lesha gonna try to jump in they caskets.

Mark: You wrong for that

Gibbs: I know.

How Did Things Get So Wacky That...

2007-08-25T05:14:00.001-07:00

Michael Vick, holder of a multi-million contract to play professional plus other millions in endorsements, got caught up in something as tawdry as dog fighting.

Prophetess Juanita Bynum-Weeks and her estranged Bishop Thomas Weeks once the models of love and life in Christ wind up fighting in public. How does the man of God beat the woman of God where is the love.

A Doctor and her highly educated medical researcher husband forget about the seven month old in the car seat in the back of a car in the middle of a St. Louis heat wave?

Any of us has the time to even care about how many hours Nicole Richie is going to spend in jail, whether Lindsay Lohan is going to jail, and whether Shemar Moore, RazB, Queen Latifah or any other actor, actress or former child star is gay, straight, a tramp, a trollop, celibate, promiscuous, on drugs, off drugs, too fat, too skinny, etc etc

President Bush can draw parallels between this Iraqi mish mash and the Vietnam quagmire as reason to stay the course. Haven't we learned anything from the WMD mess?

Americans can no longer separate fiction from real life and really believe that the DA from Law and Order is presidential material? Hey folks he left politics and returned to the small screen that ought to says something to us.

I actually had this conversation:

Toni: Gibbs I am calling on behalf of the Tolliver family and we want to know if you would be willing to call the pastor and ask him if the church can give us a $1000 to bury our mother.

Gibbs: Say what?

Toni: Mother Tolliver was a good member of the church and she gave tithes and offerings and we just want to know how the church is going to pay her back.

Gibbs: Say what?

Toni: That's why I hate you motherfuckin church niggahs. Y'all took mama's money now when she is $1,000 short on the funeral y'all act like she did not even go to the church.

Gibbs: Did you just call me a...

Toni: Mo-ther-fuck-in-g church nig-gah yes the fuck I sho did. My mother is dead and I am grieving and we done got 12,000 together to put her away right, and now all we need is a fucking $1000 and you bitches at Stony Top AME COGiC Baptist Fellowship and Christian Center won't give us one dime back that she gave to y'all

Gibbs: Did you just call me a...

Toni: A low down, dick sucking, pussy eating bitch yes I did now is you going to call the pastor or am I going to have to get niggerish and call that dick head myself.

Gibbs: Did you just call me a...

Toni: Got damnit Gibbs quit thinking about your low down pussy eating bitch ass self and think about somebody else's ass and what they is going through.

Gibbs: Toni are you drinking and drugging right now?

Toni: What the fuck you think I am mourning my mother is dead and she ain't leaved us nothing and we got to spend all this fucking money just to put her black ass in the ground.

Gibbs: Good bye Toni.

Toni: I knew you were a sissy ass bitch,

Gibbs: Have a good day Toni.

Toni: Aw come on Gibbs you know I was just playin. You is going to call Pastor Shithead and ask for the money right?

Gibbs: No.

Toni: Cock sucking pussy lickin bitch

Gibbs: Yo mama.

Congratulations Barry Bonds. Was it Worth it?

2007-08-09T05:38:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Barry Bonds. He is the new home run king. He is the man who beat out Hammering Hank and the Babe and now he stands atop the baseball world. And nobody seems happy for him.

Did he use steroids? Did he use steroids? Did he use steroids?

Probably? It hasn't been proven. He's never failed a drug test. Look at his body that's not how he used to look. (Now come on how many of our bodies look the same at 43 as the did at 23?)

Barry Bonds is the new home run king, but we really don't care, we just want to know did his "johnson" shrivel up? At least this is what I am told we will be able to find out in an upcoming issue of Playboy when his mistress shows all (herself) and tells all about him.

Barry Bonds is the new home run king but we really don't care we're just glad that it is over and now back to news we can use...When is Nicole Richie going to jail and what will she wear. Those stories and much more news and information ahead on Eyewitness News at 11.

This is DIFFICULT

2007-07-14T03:11:00.000-07:00

Have you ever watched a television reality show or talk program and heard people talk of their harrowing experiences and you just shake your head in amazement that they were able to survive?

Recently someone very close to me was the raped by a stranger. She was attacked in a parking lot. The incident has been a struggle for all those who are close to her. We all grieve that she lost a certain part of the confidence and cockiness that made her our special one and we are praying that God will restore what the enemy has tried to destroy.

As a person who is probably not religious in the classic sense of the word but in relationship with God this has been a struggle that frankly leaves me tired much of the time. I am not sleeping well and the inside of me does not feel right. I want to yell and scream at my God for allowing this to happen to someone so close to me.

Although I am not one of those people who hold up their Bibles ala Joel Osteen and say this book is me, I find some of the stories in the Bible have themes that resonant with my situations.

Lately, I have been looking at two the first, is the Martha and Jesus encounter at the tomb of Lazarus. Martha was a woman I believe, who found herself in relationship with Jesus, he was her friend, he ate at her table probably slept at her house and when he did not show up in time to save her brother from death, she mourned.

The old cliches let her down. He did it for others, but he did not show up for her at least when she wanted him to show up. But that's not the part of the story that gets me. The part of the story that fascinates me is that Martha does what many of us do when we face trying times, we try to find that place of comfort where we come to grips with the reality of our situation.

By the time Jesus shows up, Lazarus was four days deceased. He had been wrapped up and buried and Martha although mourning her brother, and somewhat disappointed in her friend Jesus still tried to find the right things and the right words to say.

But this is where Jesus draws the line between religion which focuses in my mind on the rules and regulations and he introduces the concept of relationship. In John 11 when he proclaims to be the resurrection and the life, and says he who believes in me , though he die yet shall he live and whoever lives and believes in me, shall never die. Do you believe this?

I was feeling Martha at this point, I can feel her saying like many of us do when we are suffering and feeling pain, like my special someone is doing right now, she searched for the right words, the ones which would get Jesus off of her back so she could put her pain away again, so she could go back to coping with the reality of her life, so she tells him what she thinks he wants to hear and then says...Mary your buddy Jesus is here.

Oh I like this because it is not about her devotion. Martha is being real right now and she gets even more real later, when Jesus calls for them to open the tomb.

Damn it Jesus she says in the Harold Gibson version of the Bible, don't open that damn tomb, my heartache and my struggles have been buried in that thing, my disappointments and my failures have been buried in that thing and they have begun to rot and I don't want to smell the stench of what once was. I have learned to cope with what is and I don't want to go back there again.

My special person is dealing with that right now. She has come to a point of dealing with what happened and is afraid of counseling and going back to what happened cause the stench of it is more than she can bear.

And I am standing there with her, saying Damn it Jesus, isn't there another way? Why don't you just make it disappear. Why don't you just erase the memory from her and from us why are you forcing us to deal with what was even though it really impacts how we deal with what is?

Maybe somebody (probably me most of all) is expecting to close out this story with the end of John 11. I can't we are still standing at the tomb.

Hang in there my special one, hang in there.

Guidelines on How to Use Racist, Sexist and Homophobic Terms Without Losing Your Gig.

2007-04-13T03:48:00.000-07:00

Don Imus lost his gig. Why? Because he failed to follow the basic guidelines for using racist, sexist and homophobic terms without losing your gig.

In my new book, I outline the situations when a caucasian can drop the n-word-a without losing their gigs. I must point out right now a cauasian can never drop the n-word-er in mixed company or with cameras in the room.

First and foremost let me remind all of you that "double standards" exist! Oh yes they do! How do I know? There is a double standard for crimes associated with cocaine and crimes associated with crack.

We can openly discriminated against people of size. We can show pictures of bulging bellies and spongy thighs while we talk about these people making our nation unhealthy and unattractive because of their addictions to sweet and fatty foods.

People feel comfortable telling strangers of size "you really don't need that" or "you need to make better food choices" as they eat their value meal lunches.

It is okay to hire a cute young white girl over a aging white woman because she will be a better team player.

It is okay to not hire middle aged workers who find themselves unemployed as a result of downsizing and label them non performers because they did not stay ahead of the curve.

It's okay to charge drivers who live in a certain part of town with clean driving records higher premiums than drivers with similar records who live in other parts of town.

It's okay to charge people with questionable and insufficient credit outlandish interest rates, and then feign surprise when they can't afford to make the payments.

There are other examples and you can read them in my forthcoming book. However there are times when you need to self regulate your mouth in public especially if you are a person in the media or entertainment business.

For example Isaiah Washington was criticized not for using the f-word-ot, but for calling a specific person who is generally a nice guy who happens to be homosexual, a term that is generally accepted as a slur. Thus if you are not a part of the group you are talking avoid using slurs.

Now if Imus had called the woman who accused the Duke lacrosse players a ho, he would not have lost his job. Why? Because that then pregnant,lying, pole dancing, heifer is a ho even though she is going to college. I keep trying to tell you double standards exist.

Personally most of you would be media types would be advised to follow the example of Rush Limbaugh and others who are much more creative in demeaning others and always couch their jokes in big buck-fifty words. Furthermore don't say you do it because the rappers do it. Unless you are going start walking around with a mouth full of metal, and wear you pants so low you have to hold them up with your hands, you need not use these men as your role models.

Finally you must have a great sensitivity to cultural usage.

Most of you media types really cannot understand that all ho's ain't whores and all whores ain't ho's. And if you don't understand that then don't use ho.

One more thing--remember black people are still very sensitive about their hair. Leave the hair out of the conversation. Imus got fired because he reminded us of what we already know, our hair is nappy. Don't talk about how ridiculous dark skinned women look with platinum hair. Leave our hair alone. You have been warned.

Go in peace.

Things that make me go hmmm or what the--was s/he thinking

2007-04-11T21:08:00.000-07:00

Things that make me go hmmm...

the fact that I am posting a blog when I am trying to hold two full time jobs, a teaching position and planning a big banquet in less than three weeks.

the fact that despite all these jobs I still don't have any money.

the fact that tonight was the first time in history that I watched an entire episode of American Idol only to hear Jenny from the block sing in Espanol.

that I went off donuts cakes and cookies cold turkey. Yet I can't get myself to exercise so weight is coming off s--l--o--w--l--y.

I told my beloved wife I am her love daddy

what the @#%%&! was s/he thinking....

Pacman Jones why?

Don Imus did you really think you could get away with the nappy headed ho's remark. Did you really think that your I'm sorry meant anything.

Unlike their male counterparts, most female student/athletes are students who play a sport. They are using their gifts as a means to another end. Yes, some may end up in the WNBA, but let's face it, the money is hardly the same. So why this weird jackass decides to jump off on these women is beyond me. Now the television gig is up Donny boy. Was it worth it?

The Attorney General Gonzales what is up with lying to congress man. be a man and say Georgie made me do it or he was gonna let Dick Cheney stick a dildo up my ass.

When one of the residents of one of my apartment buildings had the audacity to call me a N-word. Now when he said it he shot off running but I had promised him that if he ever slipped he would be in a hot mess for real.

Well he is in a hot mess

Marriage is Protected! Adultery is a Felony!

2007-01-15T04:40:00.000-08:00

In our "want to be free yet want to be judgmental" society, we do some very odd things. For example, we don't want the government in our bedrooms legislating the modes of sexual activity in which we engage. On the other hands virtually every state in the nation has adopted or is in the process of adopting amendments to their state constitutions defining what marriage is and who can get married.

Marriage is one of those weird areas in life to me. It has a sense of the sacred and the secular. For many marriage must take place in a space of worship so that God might bless the union of the man and woman involved. Some denominations and especially the black church has been clear that only heterosexual unions qualify for an official blessing from God in a worship space. Meanwhile we also know that not all marriages are conducted in such spaces and that many people get married at the courthouse and some weird folks (my own judgmental moment) get married in the jailhouse.

Yet I believe that even the most ardent heterosexual supremacist, a term coined by oppressed homosexuals, have to see that it is unfair that just because the church does not advocate or support a union between two men or two women, there is an equal protection issue when the state allows men and women to get married or to unite legally without the benefit of any church sanction.

Okay what does that have to with title of this blog entry well I think big brother is losing his mind. In today's Detroit Free Press there is a story that reports that the Michigan State Court of Appeals has ruled that "any time a person engages in sexual penetration in an adulterous relationship, he or she is guilty of CSC I,(Criminal Sexual Conduct in the first degree)" the most serious sexual assault charge in Michigan's criminal code.

A long time ago and as recently as 1971 the good people of Michigan decided that adultery was not only a Biblical misconduct issue but a felonious criminal act. And while we may think the law is a draconian response the Michigan Court of Appeals is response to a Michigan Supreme Court edict is saying to lower courts that since the law literally includes adultery as a criminal offense prosecutors across the state can bring these cases to trial.

Imagine that going to jail for having a chick or a rooster on the side. Perhaps the homosexuals in Michigan ought to think twice before clamoring for marriage rights. It may sound absurd but it is the law and now married folks in Michigan can sleep a little better knowing their partners face life if they tiptoe through some other tulips.

Why Don't I Get It?

2006-11-17T15:53:00.000-08:00

This afternoon I was having a conversation with a brother who is strong in his faith. He is against just about everything and he stands on nothing but the Word of God. (Yeah right)

Here is a transcript of our last conversation:

"What's up man how are you?"

"Gibbs, I am sick of the sin in this world. Everything is all messed up. Gays wanting to get married, women wanting to be president, this world is going to hell."

"Well what you going to do about it mane."

" Well, first I think we should do away with 12 step recovery programs."

"Darn man it must be real early in the morning. Did you say you want to eliminate 12 step programs?"

"Yeah, all that AA , NA, OA, GA that stuff ain't Biblical."

"Hmmm, but then neither is the internal combustion engine but you still drive don't you?"

"Naw, God don't care how we get from point a to point b."

"So what's wrong with the 12 step programs?"

"They don't proclaim the truth of the gospel."

"Keep talking."

"They don't tell you that there is only ONE way to get to the KINGDOM of G-D and his name is JESUS! (iamhondawant2beamercedes!) (Speaks in tongues)"

"Man quit that gibberish. "

"I am rejoicing in the Spirit of God."

"Whatever man. Just stop it. Speak only in English."

"See a 12 step program says acknowledge a higher power, any higher power."

"Well everybody is not a Christian."

"Then they all going to HELL!"

"You know everything."

"Look man, I can't support anything that does not fit the WORD of the Lord Iamhon--

"You betta quit that noise right now. Anyway tell me how do you think the Lord feels about you gettin with no let me be clear screwing every woman you date. Ain't that fornication?"

"Now Gibbs you going too far. I am a man, I have needs, and God provides for my needs."

"You really believe that don't you."

"Hel--I mean heck yeah!"

"Wow... wow...wow."

"Ain't God all right?!

"God is cool but you need some help."

"Gibbs you don't get nothing do you."

"Not really."

"I'm talking about sex man--"

"I am not talking to you about my sex life."

"You need to pray to God and you will get sum."

A Black Male Role Model for the Ages

2006-11-09T17:03:00.000-08:00

So much has been said about celebrities becoming role models. Some believe that it is part of the cost of their fame, others try to be what they are not and some give us advice that we don't want to hear.

Yet there was a man who gave us a lot during his years. We watched him with a glimmer of pride every time he got that big interview, uncovered corruption or just warmed our hearts.

Thank you Mr. Bradley for being a great Black man

I Always Knew I was a Super Hero

2006-11-08T17:34:00.000-08:00

There is a super hero in me. I knew it. I just knew it.
our results:
You are Superman

Superman		55%
Hulk		50%
Spider-Man		50%
Robin		47%
The Flash		45%
Green Lantern		40%
Catwoman		40%
Supergirl		35%
Wonder Woman		30%
Batman		20%
Iron Man		20%

You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Ward Connerly Is A STUPID Black man

2006-11-05T02:13:00.000-08:00

You are looking at a stupid black man. Ward Connerly is a stupid black man. He is so stupid that he recently was quoted as saying that he welcomed the support of the KKK in his effort to end affirmative action in Michigan.

Ward Connerly although disavowing support to the Klans's hateful activities says

"If the Ku Klux Klan thinks that equality is right, God bless them," Connerly says. "Thank them for finally reaching the point where logic and reason are being applied, instead of hate."

Damn logic and reason and the KKK in the same sentence. I told you Ward Connerly is a stupid black man. How much self hate can one tolerate.

Unfortunately this was not the first anti-black group to embrace Connerly and his misguided race to equality. Connerly was also photographed shaking the hand of the leader of a white separtist group who later called Connerly the best nigger he never killed. Okay he did not say that but I am sure it crossed his mind.

Hold on let me call for a prayer meeting, come on Brother Pray Long, come on Sister Speak in Tongues, Come on Rev. Froth at the Mouth, Come on Deacon Moan all Nite Long we need the cast out the demon of stupidity out of this man because he has surely lost his mind.

There is Still A Little Boy Under All this Gray!

2006-10-16T16:34:00.000-07:00

There is still a little boy lurking under all my gray hair. I discovered him on Saturday when Maggilo Ordonez hit a three run homer in the bottom of the ninth sending the Detroit Tigers to the World Series for the first time since 1984.

What is amazing about the Tiger's victory is that sent me running and screaming all around the house something I had not done since I was a wee little lad in 1968 when the Tigers won the Pennant. All the joy I had in 1968 came flooding back to me as I tried to hold back the tears.

I am not a bandwagon fan. When the Tigers won the last game of season to avoid their 120th loss in 2003, During the long dry spell, my parched soul never gave up and I remember the days I went to Tiger Stadium in April and froze my behind off cheering those fellas and I remember the days I went to Comerica Park and cheered my lovable Tigers.

Yes I am a grown man, married and the father of two adult children and yes I still LOVE the Tigers and I always will. Why? Because the Tigers are a bright shining memory of my youth, the days when I would take the bus to the Saturday games at the stadium still stand out as my first moments of being independent.

Plus the Tigers are a lot like me for many years they were okay, not phenomenonal but adequate, then they were spectacular and then they were pretty bad and then they were really bad but summer kept coming and they never stopped playing. That's like life at least my life. I've been good and adequate and I've had some down periods and some way down periods but like Langston Hughes wrote But I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,And turnin' corners,And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.

So the 2006 Tigers have reminded me that when nobody else believes in you, when everybody is waiting for you to fall down and fall out, don't give up on the you that you are, keep on playing and sooner or later your change will come.

Not to mention that I know what Juan Encarnacion and Jeff Weaver have in common besides being members of the Cardinals. Do you. This is easy.

It's Hard Out There for a ....DAD!

2006-09-01T18:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, I for one will rejoice mightily when the cool winds of autumn finally start to blow.

Why?

Because my nest will be empty.

And emptying my nest has almost caused me to lose what little mind I have left.

As many of you might know, my daughter surprised me and graduated from college.

The diva/starlet/royal pain/great love of my life had finished college and I cried, like a baby. I cried because I was so happy and so pleased. I cried for my mother and how much I missed the fact that she was not presence in the flesh to see the day we dreamed about when she was battling lung cancer.

I cried because I had no idea what my baby was going to do with the rest of her life.

So she came back home. And I found out something about me that I guess I just had not come to grips with...

I am an old man. I am set in my ways and I know more than anybody about what's right and what tod do especially her.

It has been a rough summer. She wants to escape to LA LA land and that's cool, I just don't want her to end up homeless. I wished she had worked more and had more to live off of, I wished she had been better prepared and you know some of this crossed my lips. But I don't need her here to be with me, I do want her to go I just want my very much grown up smart baby girl to leave just yet.

I keep telling myself it's not the right time. But you know what it is the only time.

So next Sunday she is off and I will be glad because she needs to be grown, I pray the Lord will continue to add to my coffers so I might be there for her.

My boy is off to college for his freshman year. I'm gonna miss that son of mine. We have become so close we talk about everything.

Yes we even talked about our feelings about being the oldest virgin males in the world.

He's 18 and nada

I was way past 18 and still nada.

Everybody thinks he weird but he says he abstains because he does not want the drama.

Believe it or not, I thought exactly the same thing.

He asked me if I ever regretted not being sexually active in high school, and frankly I think the true answer is probably but not really.

I say it like that because my wife thinks I put too much value on the idea of being sexual. She is appalled at times because I link the two together because that's how it worked for me.

But back to my daughter I am releasing her to wind, it is hard because no matter how old she gets I always see the big eyes of that just born little girl who used to use her daddy's belly as her napping place.

I won't ever really let go,,, but I will loosen the strings a bit because I always know that God has her.

Bye kids, gibby girl your daddy loves you now more than ever. and gibby boy your dad (never daddy) loves you too!

Segregated Survivor--Why?

2006-08-24T22:31:00.000-07:00

I need some help. I am beginning to believe the movies they make about ridiculous television shows aren't rooted in fantasy anymore.

CBS Television has decided that the next installment in the "I-just-don't-get-it" Survivor franchise will feature four teams divided on the basis of race. There is a black team and a white team. A team of latinos, and a team of asians.

Why?

Perhaps for once television has got America right. Are we a deeply divided nation? Do we only associate with those of our own racial group?

The answers are yes and for the most part.

Our divisions are not only racial but they social and economic. We are segregated by our education and a whole hosts of reasons.

I found out my next door neighbors name the other day in the strangest way. This young man has been my neighbor for at least two maybe three years and I guess he is a supervisor in one of the neighboring cities paramedic squads.

Anyway, he was the responder to the death of a man to whom I was a provider of spiritual services.

So there we were face to face in this room with a dead body lying in the center of the floor. He looked at me and said I know you, you're my neighbor.

And after I thought about it I said oh yes I am hi.

and he responded hello sir. He always calls me sir.

Later when the local funeral director arrived I asked her who is the paramedic supervisor she looked at me kind of funny and said his name is Shane.

Shane?

Like the old western--come back Shane

Oh.

Why Chaplain Gibson are you asking?

He's my next door neighbor.

What?

He lives next door to me.

And you did not know his name.

It never came up.

In fact I don't know the neighbor on the other side.

I just know the man across the street. I feel kind of bad about this but I am busy and I really don't have much to say to them. I should do better but I am not pressed.

Is it because they are white? Perhaps but not really I don't know the black people in my subdivision either.

But I bet they won't be cheering for my team on Survivor. And I already know that if I watched Survivor and I don't I would be pulling for the black team.

Maybe the old southerners were right Segregation now. Segregation forever.

The Theology of Madea's Family Reunion

2006-07-06T19:43:00.000-07:00

Y'all I finally saw a movie in 2006. I don't do movies. I do not go to movie theaters and I don't rent movies or dvd's very often. But I am always intrerested in new gadgets so I had to try the redbox.

And after looking at the selection of available movies I decided to find out why every body is in love with a tall man who has made millions dressing in drag.

After watching this motion picture, I still don't get it.

I don't get why large black women are always protrayed as LOUD

I don't know why large and loud black women are being protrayed by men.

I don't understand why in Tyler Perry movies the bad guys are dark and the knights in shining armour are light

I don't understand how a mother could so callously offer her child to grown man for sex and the justify the behavior.

I don't get why old black men are portrayed as child molesters.

I don't get what is funny about flatuence.

I don't get why black folk would want a wedding where little children hang from the ceiling.

I don't get why I find it fascinating to see Cicely Tyson turn into Miss Jane Pittman right before my eyes.

I don't get the fuss about Maya Angelou. Her stuff makes good recitations on Sunday mornings but I never have to reflect on her verse...its so obivous that I am mad I didn't write it.

I did not get why Taylor S. said I need to embrace my truth...what's truth and what is my truth will it dissolve without my attention?

I am Now Officially Middle Aged

2006-06-10T05:41:00.000-07:00

And I'm glad about it. Over the last month my daughter graduated from college and my son graduated from high school. Now me and the Mrs. are officially the parents of adult children.

This was highlighted when I saw my much younger brother with his two children who are both in elementary school. My brother kept asking me what are you going to do now? Wow no more parent teacher conferences, no more wrestling, school plays and parents councils.

Rejoice and be glad about it. I am happy because in many ways watching my daughter was the culmination of a dream I had since the day she was born. I wanted my daughter to grow up safe and secure in herself and in God and to go on to college and to graduate.

As I watched her process in I had to fight back the tears. I thought of my mother and how happy she would have been to be in this crowd, I don't know what the future holds for her but if God brought her this far I trust that God will continue to walk with her.

Now my son, his journey is just beginning. He will be attending a small white liberal arts college in the fall, unlike my daughter who graduated from a larger HBCU. I am praying that this will work for him. He has already made quite an impression on some of the faculty and since he is also very devoted to his faith I am sure it will be there to strengthen him in difficult times.

With all the turmoil of this year so far it is good to report that yeah I'm middle aged, both of my children are grown, and my oldest graduated from college and though my tire won't deflate, my gray won't dissapate, and my wallet won't inflate. I'm singing, shouting and smiling cause We've come this far by faith!!! Leaning, trusting, depending and I can't turn around---we've come this far by faith.

Oh my goodness--He's written a gay book

2006-05-22T20:58:00.000-07:00

A person I know and I actually recently told me that the book that has gestating in his soul for 20 years has finally been born. He invited me to the reading and book signing and I grabbed the wife and off we went.

The bookstore was an independent left wing book store that is the anti-borders.

I arrived at the signing and our friend the author was sharing something from the book.

"His thighs were massive and rippled, as I gazed upon them." said Skip.

Aw hell to the naw. What kind of book is this I shouted silently. After the reading there were questions including one from one of my favorite people the author's mother

"Why didn't you write a murder mystery?"

No mama wrong question. She should have asked my question: "Why didn't you tell me you were gay? Why am I discovering this in this bookstore?"

I asked the wife--"Did you know that he was gay."

Well yeah sort of she replied. I read the book cover and I said "Oh how nice."
"It's no big deal, really. You're probably the only one who doesn't know."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You don't always get it."

"Huh?"

"Sometimes I wonder if you are just joking."

"Huh?"

Ask five of your friends and I bet everybody knows but you.

Four of the five said hell yeah we knew.

One other just asked why?

There is No such thing as a Fair fight

2006-05-16T01:08:00.000-07:00

When two people are linked together by life and love there is no such thing as a fair fight.

There is too much history, too many stories, too many promises made and too many promises broken to make any fight fair. When people argue they go for the victory even if the victory will destroy the opponent for the objective of any argument is ultimately to win.

Oh I know, we never want to hurt the ones we love, but we just cannot help it. We know too much about them. We know the things that will send them reeling and we know the secrets they keep and truths they hide often from themselves. Why? Because they are our secrets.

And idealistically when we enter a relationship we always promise that this time, there will be no secrets. But let me drop a tad of truth here, it is impossible to say there will not be any secrets. It is a part of life.

There are things we overlook to keep the relationship intact. For if we accept the fact that certain things have transpired, then we would have to break off the relationship just because.

When comes to relationships I am beginning to believe that honesty is not good policy. For every time we enter a relationship we should be given a Miranda warning.
"Everything you say or share can and will be used against you, when we get into a fight."

I don't know any thing about that movie where Jack Nicholson utters that classic line "You can't handle the truth." But I believe that should line should somehow be placed in the Biblical canon. Maybe that is why the psalmists pleads with the Lord in Psalm 25 to remember that his God is a god of mercy and compassion and he further pleads that God not remember the sins of his youth.

But I am not God.

I will remember your sins. And damn skippy, your sins are scarlett, thus I will hold them close, and I will remind of how you sinned against me. I will not only remind you of your sins I will reinvent the context and recolor your sin in the context of sins you have committed since I have known you.

For you bleeding sensitive hearts who are crying out "But we must be able to communicate and share."

One word. A word both profane and compound. Bullshit.

Decisions

2006-05-02T20:36:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine called today. He and his wife are in trouble. Their son was accepted at three schools. He expressed a great deal of interest in College M. Meanwhile College K offered their son close to a full ride scholarship. My friend believes that in their current financial condition the son should accept the offer from College K. The wife believes that they are not doing right by the son by not giving him the desire of his heart. College M is asking them to take out a $26,000 Plus Loan. Given that together they barely reported 42,000 in income this loan will add to an already heavy debt burden on this family.

A few years ago this would not have been a problem. My friend had a six figure job and was doing well. Now, he is just about to begin making over 40. He called me after she left the house over this. The son appears to be happy to go to a school that offered him a scholarship and that is affordable, he is of course disappointed by College M but he appears to be okay with College K.

I didn't say much (in fact I said nothing) I just listened and he hung up.

What could I have said that would have helped him? I am a numbers man, so its a no brainer for me. His wife is an emotional person who feels like she has left her son short.

They are blessed to be getting anything. Their son had so-so college boards, and while he is an above average student, he is not setting the world on fire. He is articulate but not always as motivated as he should be.

The Pole Scholarship

2006-05-02T03:43:00.000-07:00

I guess we never appreciate the power of bad acting.

May be you remember that memorable performance of Lisa Raye in the forgettable movie the Player's Club.

If you don't remember it Jesse Jackson did and in response to the alleged victim in the upcoming Duke Lacrosse Players Rape Trial Jesse is giving the exotic dancer a scholarship so no longer must she mount the pole to take Humanities or Sociology or the Fundamentals of Teaching Phonics.

Of course you all know that this single mother was trying to earn a better life for her and her child by using her "gifts" in a very special and intimate way with strangers.

And while I certainly hope that if she was raped her perpetrators are properly punished. However it is going to be a difficult case cause she was selling sex in the first place.

While I consider myself liberal I am also not sure you can have it both ways. How can you offer your body in a private party with drunken men for money and who did not hire you because you have ABT potential, and expect them to honor you?

I have been in attendance at one bachelor party in my life where dancers were present. It was truly sleazy. I may be a prude but I never wanted to see my friends get freaky and I did not nor do I believe that hangin with the fellas means violating my vows. I am no saint, but I remember talking to one of the ladies who said that she was working on her teaching degree and this helps pay the bills.

Hmmm

Let's keep this real.

Women, if you are selling it on a pole, or at a party you are self exploiting and you are putting yourself at risk. You may think this is easy money but is it really?

Is it Just Me?

2006-04-26T16:15:00.000-07:00

What is up with my life. Every time I turn around lately I am dealing with death. Today for example, I had to officiate the funeral of a 400 plus lb man who I did not know. The family and friends were utterly unchurched. Lots of moaning and crying not wild stuff just forever crying and snotting and stuff.

The mother told me I only want the service to last an hour. The final viewing was 35 minutes and the mother's remarks were over 20 minutes. I need to get out of this phase too much death. He completes my trinity of death for the weekend. He was first to go on Thursday he was 32. On Friday I was called to the ER to assist when a 29 year old tattoo piercer died mysteriously but probably naturally. And it closed out Sunday when a 68 year man died in the ER and the Supervising Nurse and I almost had a knock down drag out when I told her we would have to hold the body in morgue before it went to the transplant center for harvesting then cremation so the oldest son might say good bye. He was driving and was about 2 hours away.

What's really weird is that the only time I ever saw any of these people is when they were dead.

Just Odd. I y'all to pull me out of this funk of death.

Living Under A Cloud

2006-03-28T05:02:00.000-08:00

I started this post on March 28. I published it on April 16.
I feel as if I have been living under a cloud. I am still dealing with the murder suicide. I thought it would be over now. My daughter who was and still is dealing with health maintenance issues now is not sure she will graduate in May. My son is well an 18 year old male trying to decide if he will marticulate at a small liberal arts college that really really wants him or at a vanguard African American institution that could care less.

Recently and blogland this is getting tired for me as well, my wife's grandfather died early this week. He was 93 years old. I liked grand-daddy. He was a very interesting man. I think I have spoken of him in the past. He is a two time widower. He has one family that consisted of 1 son, and four daughters including my mother by law. After his wife died another daughter conceived during the marriage was introduced to her siblings.

Later he married another woman the age of his oldest daughter and had a passel of children with her. At least six. After she died the family met another daughter conceived during that marriage.

All the while he was the chief trustee and custodian at his church. Without making any judgments about him, he was who he was, it can be said, his children knew him. He never denied his children and always provided support to his children and their mothers.

The bad part is that I was had a big Easter Sunday planned and could not cancel any plans and the air fares were too high so we drove almost 1500 miles between 2pm CDT Friday and 4 am CDT Sunday with a funeral sandwiched in the middle.

The weather and the traffic conditions were fantastic and satellite radio is a dream come true for the long road trip. But that was ridiculous. However it was important that we were there and I did get to see my daughter and that was worth it all.

I have so missed blogging it seems as if one forms a little family relationship with a group of bloggers. As many of you know I find some of you out of the box. I appreciate your comments and most of all I appreciate how you help us cope.

Oh and by the way. The young man with HIV is doing well, he kind of fell into drugs and alcohol for a moment but he is back and his treatment is going well.

Last but not least...another random conversation.

G: Hello.

Tony is calling. Tony is a man who I thinks wants to be my friend, but he spends a lot of time evaluating you for friendship value. Recently I think we have become friends, he gives me slack now.

T: Hi. Have you heard.

G: No what's going on?

T: Lisa Andrea is pregnant. (Lisa is his 17 year old daughter) I was so hurt and mad at her.

G: Wow, that is rough.

T: I wanted to take her straight to the clinic.

G: Oh really, I thought you were pro life.

T: See that's why you need to preach more about these life issues. You are pro choice aren't you?

G: Pro choice but not necessarily pro abortion. I know that some folks are not equipped for this and since I am not willing to take care of anybody's baby right now I don't feel it right for me to tell somebody else what they have to do.

T: Lisa Andrea is six months pregnant.

G: Get out. I saw her last Sunday how could that be?

T: I went out looking for a clinic.

G: Come on at this stage she has to literally give birth to have an abortion.

T: I know. But she's so young.

G: But she has made her choice.

T: When I meet the daddy I'm going to ....

G: Remember how the mothers of the 2 women you got pregnant when they were young felt.

T: Damn you.

G: I love you too.

Because God is to Be Trusted

2006-03-14T21:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the church was packed to the rafters. Everyone in our town came out Sunday evening for the visitation and even more showed up Monday for the funeral.

It was a sad occasion, sprinkled with moments of laughter and applause. Her four handsome sons heads down, heads up crying on their father's shoulders.

Her 90 year old mother, saying it shouldn't be this way.

This was not an easy day.

The preacher tried to convince us that it is God's desire that our joy be complete. Maybe he succeeded but right now emptiness still reigns.

The next funeral is Thursday. He has been villified in the press but his family showed up in large numbers at the funeral and one professed her love for the victim.

This was not a family feud.

He left a suicide note. I saw it tonight I read it tonight. I cannot write about it yet, because it left me sick.

I Am Mourning

2006-03-11T15:52:00.001-08:00

On Tuesday two of my favorite people died. It did not have to happen.

On Tuesday, a man I had a lot of respect for shot and killed his wife of less than three years in their bedroom as he watched their wedding video. His wife has been a friend of my family since we moved to this gloomy place about five years ago.

He later took the same gun that he shot her twice with and killed himself.

They were divorcing. She said he was mentally cruel. He would sneak and do drugs. He would not work. He could get his mind around that fact that America has no love for former felons.

Join the church, believe in God and we still consider you to be a criminal. Yet she at one time perhaps out of loneliness perhaps out of desire fell in love with him.

They married and they appeared to be happy on the outside.

No physical violence until Tuesday.

My heart won't stop crying.

My mind won't stop trying to understand why oh why?

Funerals on Monday and Thursday.

People are taking sides

My heart won't stop crying.

I Love Detroit--& There ain't It can do about it!

2006-03-05T17:48:00.000-08:00

I went back to Detroit over the weekend. When I got there they were having ice, it was raw cold and cloudy then raw cold and sunny. The pot holes are still like craters from Mars, the customer service folk still keep it real and freeway construction is always underway.

I love Detroit. It is no joke. I truly love that town. Don't talk about it, and don't try to point out anything bad about it. It's my home town and I love it.

Some fool from East St. Louis, IL of all places tried to tell me that Detroit is a dump.

People from East St. Louis can't say anything about any place on the planet.

Another man from Chicago tried to tell me Detroit politicians were corrupt.

Well he ought to know.

Somebody from Los Angeles told me the weather was better, the women prettier and cars were hotter.

Well I can't argue about the weather but anyone who has ever felt the earth quiver knows a cold snap ain't all bad.

The problem with LA is not all the women are women.

And where the hell did hot cars come from.

No I don't live there now but that's okay cause whenever I meet people from Detroit we always have a good time laughing about the joys of being from a town nobody understands, why you like it.

You know why I love Detroit because I heard somebody trying to impress somebody else say you know my parents are buried in Woodlawn Cemetary. You have heard of Woodlawn that's where Rosa is buried. When the other party asked who is Rosa, the Detroiter, rolled her eyes and turned up her nose and said Rosa Parks--duh the woman they named 12th Street after. I love Detroit.

So what my Northwest flight left 2.5 hours late. It was okay I was still in Detroit and for some reason I was glad about it.

It's topography is flat, it's housing stock dwindling and maybe it doesn't have the romantic flair of some other places, but damnit, it has hosted two super bowls. Don't tell me there ain't something special about my town.

Don't try to convince my mind is made up. God loves Detroit and so do I.

The Confession

2006-02-28T04:28:00.000-08:00

He walked into the office, his head was down and he lacked the joy normally found in his movements.

"You know when I told the doctor thought I had some stomach problems?"

"Yes," I said remembering that I had encouraged him to seek care after seeing him doubled over in pain.

"Well, he paused, I got HIV."

"Wow." That's all I could say, wow, it seemed so inappropriate yet it was the only word my mouth could pronounce.

"You been a good counselor, I just wanted you to know."

"Okay, so what do you do now."

"Well I'm gonna get me some beers and smoke some joints and take these vir drugs."

"Excuse me, you have a problem with alcohol. Why are you going back there."

"Man I got to escape. I told my peoples and they looked at me funny. They said they would support me and s**t but still they was lookin at me. I could feel them askin 'How'd he get that s**t?'"

"Damn how am I going to tell old girl, I been f**kin? She gonna lose her mind."

"Hold up, you were f**kin a stranger you picked up in grocery store without protection?"

"She was an ole b**ch. She looked clean the house was clean so I said f**k it."

"When are you going to tell her?"

"Right now she thinks I am in Miami, but my mama says she calls everyday."

"Wow."

"What's up with you and this wow s**t."

"Damn, life is funny. Some old chick hooks up with you at the Park and Shop and starts thinkin her ass is Angela Bassett and you Taye Diggs and y'all starring in the low budget bootleg version of How Stella Got Her Groove On."

"Yeah ain't that some s**t."

"Now just like Terry Stupid Ass McMillian she gonna find out that she got more than her ass bargained for."

"Wait a f**kin minute man, I ain't no fag."

"That's not what I mean. Here is a 53 year old woman who got happy when a 30 year old man gives her the time of day and she gives him her goodies, not thinkin bout the consequences just livin in the moment."

"Damn that hoe loved her sum of this."

"You need to tell her."

"Yeah."

"Wow."

The Power of Packaging

2006-02-26T19:53:00.000-08:00

Why does packagaing have so much power over us?

I mean it seems like we are very concerned about how things are presented. Our image is everything. I think this is something that transcends racial lines. We focus on the nature of dress and appearance.

We give value to people by the way the speak. (Which is a bogus way to value a person. I know crack addicts well and one of the things they bank on is that non-addicts will be fooled into thinking that they have conquered their addicts because of the way they speak!) I recently ran into a friend who said he could tell I was living well because I was driving a brand new car. (Negro please, you could get one too, $15.99 a day week ends at Hertz!)

We must be more discerning. According to my pastor, the reason we miss our moment and we thus miss our blessings is that we get caught up in the packaging. hmmmmm.

I think that is why we get the politicos we get. Everybody must fit the image and if they ain't apple pie then they get no love from us. Yet we continue to complain that our politicians lack vision, leadership and creativity.

I am ranting today. Thanks for reading.

What's Up with You and the Crack Addicted?

2006-02-23T16:19:00.000-08:00

Last night the wife and the kids cornered me.

After another long day of dealing with the mentally ill, I come home and spend at least an hour on the phone with a couple of substance abusers.

My son the aspiring clergy man actor says to me.

Son: Dad what is up with the substance abusers callin?

G: What do you mean?

S: I mean like are you an AA facilitator or something? Are you someone's sponsor and you forgot to mention that to us?

Daughter on speakerphone: Yeah Daddy last time I was home I was shopping with you and one of your cracked out friends came up and hugged me. It's cool you have a relationship with all kinds of people but we are beginning to worry.

G: Have you all lost your minds?

Wife: Well honey, let me tell you it ain't easy to hear women arrested for hoe-ing say out loud in public how much they looooooooove your husband.

G: Come on it's always how much they love minister gibby not me.

W/S/D: You are Minister Gibson.

G: Yeah but they don't love Harold they love the persona of Minister Gibson.

D: Well dad, we think you need to ease up on the cocaine deriative addicted for a while.

G: You act like I search them out.

W: It is not that you search them out it is that you collect them like stray cats.

G: That's not fair.

W: Okay then why did you bring one to the church and try to make him the musician.

G: He could play.

D: Daddy did you notice that the congregation used to look at him strangely? Why? Because he was noddin on the organ.

S: Hold up in defense of Dad, Jeremiah could play his behind off.

W: Yeah but you made too many early Sunday stops at Value City. You can put on clean clothes but body order does not always respect clean clothes.

D: But mother don't forget about the crackhead who painted the house

S: And the one who tore down that shed and fixed the roof.

G: They work cheap.

W: Honey we love you but we are worried about the direction your life is taking.

G: What can I do?

D: Don't add to the collection.

G: What?

S: Next time you see a crackhead, don't start a conversation.

W: One of the members said since you joined the staff we have more addicts at church than the Salvation Army.

G: Sounds like something to shout about to me.

W/S/D: You still don't get it!!

G: Y'all hard on me. I'm gonna go smoke a dime rock.

W: Just do it outside.

D: He's nuts

S: Just stop Dad. Just Stop.

I taught those high brow black folks to mess with me. Excuse Sarah is calling.

So Now I Got a Personality Type

2006-02-22T06:07:00.000-08:00

You Have A Type A- Personality

A-

You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.

When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

Thanks Ms. Jessi

I'm Missing Summer

2006-02-20T06:56:00.000-08:00

Summer where are you?

I'm losing my mind without your wack writings!

You'd be my muse but your demeanor is too hard for me.

I am beginning to believe you are a white girl who opened a brotha's nose and left him hangin.

Baby please come back I need you

I ain't too proud to beg

Baby come back, you can blame it all on me.
I was wrong and I just can't live without ya.

Summer go ahead piss on Star Jones, Rag on Oprah, Declare open season on Kangay, Messirah and Mrs. Bobby Brown.

I need to laugh again come back baby come back.

(To the tune of Home from the Wiz)
When I think of Sum-mer
I see a chick
who can blog her lez ass off.

I need you Summer. I want you Summer. The sexual harrassment complaint is dropped. the intern pay issue gone. Just come back baby please.

You Can't Help Everybody

2006-02-19T19:13:00.000-08:00

For some reason people addicted to crack just seem to love me. Women or men. They can't get enough of talking to me, arguing with me and offering me sex or at least making it plain that the door is open, even when it should be shut tight.

I guess I am a real softie.

I want to help my crack addicted friends but I know in truth there's not much I can do for them except listen every now and then and show them the light but it is up to them to grasp it.

Today my friend Mick called.

M: Gibbs, man I just got out of rehab.

G: Wow you must be setting new records for 21 day rehab visits.

M: Man that's mean. I have only been to rehab 14 times, 15 if you count this one.

G: You've been to rehab 15 times!! How in the f**k does any one go to rehab 15 times.

M: You don't take drugs so you don't understand. But for me rehab is like a bad vacation.

G: You are right I don't get it.

M: I can't explain it to you now.

G: Good, what do you want.

M: Damn whatever happen to being cordial.

G: Okay hello, what do you want?

M: Look I need some money for food until my food stamp card is reloaded.

G: Mike meet Mr. Broke

M: Nigga you keeps money.

G: Because I don't give it away.

M: It's a loan. On Saturday we can go shopping and I can pay for your groceries.

G: Man I ain't hating on food stamps but I don't want to use them until I need to.

M: Well damn can you buy me a pack of cigarettes?

G: Did I introduce you to Mr. Broke yet?

M: I thought you would want to help me with my post rehab man.

G: I did that the last time or have you forgotten?

M: Damn.

G: Skippy.

M: (Laughs) I thought we had a special relationship.

G: What do you mean?

M: I got your back you got mine.

G: Man I am sick of your back. Anyway I got to work.

M: Damn can't you leave your job for a friend.

G: Mike, you beginning to sound like a trifling woman needing a visit from the Dr. of Love.

M: Don't knock it til you tried it.

G: Damn man is it that tight on you?

M: I turned a few tricks for crack in my day. Ain't no biggie.

G: Wow. Good luck watch out for the vice squad.

M: Damn you cold blooded. You would let me turn a trick rather than give me the money.

G: If that is what it takes.

M: Gibbs you ain't s**t

G: Thank you.

M: Whatcha cook tonight?

G: You can eat here but there is still no money, Mr. Broke ain't gone nowhere.

M: But-but...

G: Bye.

Whatever Happened to Romance

2006-02-15T06:53:00.000-08:00

As a young man of the 80's and a child of the 70's, I want to know whatever happened to romance?

Whatever happened to flirting and talking and falling asleep on the phone. Whatever happened to sex being a really really really really big deal?

I guess today we are more liberated than ever and we can sleep with one another just because but I am being delusional or has romance disappeared.

I just met a couple, a nice couple who came into the office to discuss matters of faith and love. How nice a pre marital couple. I thought to myself.

Wrong. This couple had known each other 2.5 weeks and wanted to know how could they tell if it was time for them to shack. 24 days of knowing someone is that enough time to determine if they can be your live in love?

The great thing about this couple is that their honesty was disarming. The conversation began with "our sex is great and we just want to reduce our living costs but we wonder what does this say about our faith?"

I heard many things about they appreciate each other's physical attributes, career aspirations and overall goodness. But not once did I either of them say I want to live with her or him because I love him.

Am I just an old prude or was Tina absolutely right "What Does Love Hafta Do Wtith It?"

The Storms are Raging

2006-02-05T17:34:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been encountering people living in the midst of a storm. I too have been in a storm. I was very concerned about my daughter's health after she was told her tests came back "extremely abnormal."

My daughter is a very special person to me. I also have a son and he's special too but my daughter Lisa helped me understand the power of love at first sight. I have been mad crazy about that girl since I laid eyes on her. She was born 11 months into my marriage and I don't regret that at all. We have a typical daddy daughter bond. No man will ever truly be good enough for my daughter, because they are all human.

Anyway a few years ago she was diagnosed with a condition that requires that she take a certain medication every day for the rest of her life. She lives the normal life of a college senior and we are so looking forward to May's commencement.

When she was home over the holidays we noted that she was having some problems so we arranged for her to see a doctor in her college town.

So we get this news and while she appears non-plussed, I am a nervous wreck. I couldn't sleep because I was so busy trying to help God run my world.

To make a long story not so long, the daughter will be fine and I only added 10 years to my face. But I know now why the disciples woke Jesus up the way they did because when the waves are crashing and you are being tossed and driven, it seems like you gotta wake Jesus up. But the good news is he is already there and he knows your needs and believe it or not he did not need my help. Hallelujah.

Happy Monday everybody.

But, He's My Boyfriend

2006-01-29T16:30:00.000-08:00

I received an interesting call from the hospital today. A young woman had given birth on Friday to a healthy baby boy. But today she is still in the hospital because her depression is so severe. I received the call because today she wanted to talk with a chaplain.

G: I'm Chaplain Gibson. I just came from the nursery, your son is beautiful.

T: Thank you. Are you a pastor?

G: No. I am a chaplain, a minister who serves in a setting outside of the church. I am like a pastor in that I am ordained, but I don't preach sermons every Sunday or serve a regular congregation.

T: (After that odd explanation she looked a little dumbfounded) Will our conversation be confidential?

G: Absolutely.

T: Are you going to tell my doctor about what we talk about?

G: If you say something I think you should share with your doctor I will encourage you to do so otherwise I am just here to listen.

T: I don't want my baby.

G: Why?

T: His daddy is a fag. (Yes she was that direct and that matter of fact) I caught that bastard in my bed with his boyfriend.

G: That must have been difficult for you. (Damn, I'm stupid at times)

T: Hell yeah it was. I never knew. We been together since I was 17 years old. I never had a clue he was a fag.

G: How old are you now?

T: 18 and a half. I mean I been put out by my parents and all this s**t, Sorry preacher. I mean stuff and now I got a baby and a fag man. Isn't God going to send him to hell for being a fag.

G: That does not seem to be important at the moment what is important is how will you deal with this new information.

T: I don't want his baby because I don't want him coming around me. I can't sleep because every time I wake up I see him in bed with Cuddy. Cuddy always been a fag but damn Cuddy knew that he's my boyfriend. (She starts to cry softly) I can't tell nobody because I feel so bad, my boyfriend is a fag. What kind of woman does that make me.

G: T you know that you are not responsible for your boyfriend's sexual orientation.

T: I must not be woman enough.

G: That's not the issue, the issue is deception and dishonesty. His orientation has nothing to do with whether or not you are an attractive woman.

T: Why did this have to happen to me. (There's a knock at the door. A tall handsome young man comes in bearing flowers and a teddy bear.) Oh hi baby, this is the chaplain, a hospital preacher who is talking to me about our baby. Chaplain this is Z he's my boyfriend.

Z: What's wrong with our baby.

G: Nothing is wrong with the baby, T and I were discussing spiritual matters.

Z: Well, we belong to Miracle Way Church of God in Christ and our Elder will handle the baby dedication.

G: Of course. (Z's phone rings.)

Z: Baby I will be right back.

T: Who is that?

Z: My mama. Hold on. (Z leaves the room)

T: I really do love him. He's my boyfriend. Do you think he is a fag? Does he look like a fag to you?

G: I don't think you can always go on appearance. I hope you two will have a meaningful talk about that situation. Otherwise it's the pink elephant that's always in the room.

T: Huh?

G: It's the issue that always around but never addressed so it never leaves and it will eventually damage your relationship.

T: I don't think I'm ready to talk with him about it. I just want him to love me. Cause He's my boyfriend. Thank you for coming.

G: If you want to talk some more about this feel free to have me paged. Also let your doctor know that you are having some relationship issues, so they can properly medicate you.

T: Do I have to tell them...

G: Only if you want to. They will understand when you say relationship issues. But please talk to somebody. Perhaps the elder of your church.

T: The Elder is his daddy.

G: Oh--I see. I will have the Day Chaplain stop by before you are discharged with some recommendations. Okay.

T: Thanks it feels better to tell somebody. I know I love him and I want him in me and the baby's life. It's gonna be alright cause He's My Boyfriend. Thanks again for coming. Z is going to be back soon.

G: Let him know how you feel..about everything. Good bye. As I walk out of the room I do some paperwork at the nurse's station and I see Z having a very animated phone conversation. I do not eavesdrop. But I did hear him say...

Z: Every thing will be cool. Cuddy trust me, I'm wit you.

T: Thank you Pastor, I mean Chaplain for coming by.

G:

Can the Truth be a Lie?

2006-01-28T03:19:00.000-08:00

I felt almost sorry for James Frey the other day. He was being pimp slapped by the America's big sister and sometimes glam mammy Oprah. But on the other hand I thought she needed to kick his ass for being the biggest liar this side of George W. Bush.

What got me in the snippets I watched is that he still could not come to grips that he lied and that his book is an interesting piece of fiction based in some part on the truth. Sorta like an episode of "Law and Order."

But maybe Frey is dealing with that difficult concept of "truth." People keep telling me there are three sides to every story your side, my side and the truth. What is the truth.

When a man tells a woman he loves her in order to help her decide to give him what he desires sex or money or companionship is he lying? Is it dishonest if someone wants something from someone to tell them what they want to hear?

After all if I want to have sex and I love sex, then am I lying if I tell a woman that I love her? After all she will be the source of my sex and I do love sex.

Is the Bible lying when it says if you have the faith the size of a mustard sea we could move mountains?

Damn, this is hard.

I know one thing, I ain't lying to Oprah she ain't gonna beat my ass on television like she did James Frey. She kicked his ass so thoroughly that I felt almost sorry for the lying jackass.

Oh by the way we all need to pray...here's the latest from my favorite crackhead.

Note to my readers: This is my recollection of an actual conversation. It has been edited for presentation in this space.

S: Gibby you won't believe this s**t. After all these years I am knocked up.

G: Damn that is so f**ked up.

S: What you mean?

G: I can imagine that the zygote/fetus/child growing in you is having a long sit down with the creator trying to figure out what he or she did wrong to warrant this punishment.

S: That was mean. I gave a damn about your opinion I would be crying. After all us pregnant women is sensitive.

G: So let me ask the question all America wants to know. How is sperm donor.

S: A good man with a good job and one who loves him some me.

G: Damn.

S: What??

G: You don't have a f**king clue do you?

S: Not really.

What is Baptism

2006-01-23T02:57:00.000-08:00

This weekend in my work as a hospital chaplain I baptized two people. One was a 90 year old woman who always wanted to get baptized but never got around to it. She was a baptist and she wanted to do it the "right" way--full body immerson. Well that could not happen but I offered her the option of pouring that way she could feel the water running across her face.

She said that she felt so much better after the baptism. She felt at peace and comfortable.

The next man was in the ICU. He was not able to communicate and he was on a ventilator. His ex-wife brought up the topic of baptism and one of the daughters actually screamed NO!!! Being the drama avoidance king I am at the hospital I spoke with the family and I told them that baptism is the outward expression of the inward change. I also asked them if they believed that the presence of God was with their loved one? And if so, then we know from the Bible that conversion is instantaneous and water is not necessary. But we can go through the sacrament of baptism if they are willing to stand and speak for him out of their love for him.

I came back later and they were together at peace and we did baptize the man. Later a parish pastor told me that I cheapened the sacrament by doing it for him in the hospital without hearing his confession. I don't know he may be right, but I am driven by the "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" thing which from my perspective says that if I am in a fearful place and there is a way to reduce my anxiety about the unknown future, I would want someone to facilitate my stress and not direct me to doctrine when the doctrine can't help me.

Somebody Please Tell Me ...When Did God Become a Hateful Bitch?

2006-01-17T18:10:00.000-08:00

Okay enough is enough.

Ray Nagin, you need to breathe my brother. So now you profess to know that God is angry at the US of A for invading Iraq. My yella brotha, you have been sniffing too much flood water. Leave God out of this.

If you hate Bush, be a man and say "I can't stand the muthaf**ka!"

But you sound like a bad imitation of Rev. Fred Phelps and the Kansas crazies who go around the country protesting at peoples funerals because they think God is mad at the US of A cause it tolerates gays.

He's an asshole and frankly you are acting like one.

God has a lot of reasons to be mad at the creation but you guys have no business speaking for God to move your political agendas. And frankly I take offense at your characterization of God as some silly something that becomes a venegeful bitch takin out his/her/its anger on the young (soliders in Iraq) or the innocent (the Sago Miners or the people of New Orleans) to get back at the rich and powerful--George Bush.

Aside to Phelps: You are a lowlife, a trailer park ghetto jack leg preacher who really has nothing to say. What you do to breaved families is going to send you and your colleagues straight to hell--if you believe in such a place. Remember I think the bible says we are weep with those who weep, not make their suffering more intense and confusing.

This shit and yeah I said shit is plain ole stupid whether it comes from a lunatic like Phelps or a misguided politico like you and yeah I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt cause you black.

There are significant issues facing this country but you guys are dismissed from the dialogue because of this blatant demogoguery (is this a word?) that stifles any meaningful discourse.

Y'all have pissed me off. But now I have ranted and gee I feel better.

Mixed Up Saturday

2006-01-14T13:06:00.000-08:00

Today my mind is a jumbled maze.

First, to my blog buddy and homeboy E, Sarah the literal serial ho is a real person and those conversations are my edited recollections of the events.

Update on Sarah: She went to court and her PD got her a pretty good deal, she will be under supervision for a year and if she manages not to get caught on the stroll for the next 12 months she will only have a disorderly conduct charge on her record.

Right now she her the verdict in her case is awaiting charges pending supervision.

But while that was good news for her it was bad news for me.

Sarah: So what do you think.

G: Go to church and shout on Sunday cuz da Lawd sho made a way fo you.

S: Naw caint go. Football playoffs start Sunday and my new boyfriend wants me to cook snacks for him and some of his friends.

G: Dang Sarah you just used your connection with God to get a good deal from the judge and now you gonna play God like God is tramp.

S: No I am not. God gave me a new boyfriend and I am going to cherish this gift. Men don't like it when you let church get in the way.

G: Hmmmm-

S: Don't be givin me that Hmmmm s**t. You know Gibbs you be a passive agressive n***a someetime. You always trying to be so psychological.

G: Hey that's between you and God.

S: And Gawd knows my heart.

G: Whatever. Hey I got to go.

S: Wait. My PD knows you.

G: How can that be. I don't know anybody like that here.

S: She grew up in Detroit.

G: It's a big town. I'm sure I don't know her.

S: She had a lot of questions about you. B*t*h almost got cussed out.
I ain't yo social secretary.

G: Who is she.

S: Regina Thomas.

G: Is she kind of short, not fat but not skinny and red hair?

S: Yeah, (eyes getting wide) oh hell, you do know her.

G: I had a crush on her in middle school and we were friends in high school.

S: She said she hadn't seen you since your wedding.

G: Man, I saw a picture of her just the other day.

S: Well understand this, I ain't carrying messages back and forth for you. (Pause) Gibbs what the hell did she ever see in you? Cause you ain't much to look at. And I can't imagine "it" being that good. (laughs) She wanted to know how I knew you. I started to tell her that you was my one of my johns. (Laughing)

G: And I would kick your ass from Carbondale to the Wisconsin Dells.

S: Oh ain't we a little testy? No I told her we met through our churches and how you have been a mentor to me. In other words I made you seem very much like a humanitarian. She seems very interested in you. I'm sure you'll come up again.

G: Really--just leave it alone.

S: I bet she's tellin all y'all friends from back in da day, Gibby going with a ho.

G: That is not funny.

S: Yeah it is.

That night I had a nightmare and I woke up in a cold sweat. In my personal horror flick, I get a call from an old friend from the neighborhood. Jackie is one of those brothers I never really liked but somehow he keeps hangin on. Every funeral, every infrequent trip to Detroit, I see Jackie. He is a nosy man a very nosy man.

J: Hey Harold I hear you live near Regina Thomas.

H: Really? Where is she living?

J: Somewhere near Springfield or St. Louis

H: I haven't seen her in a long time. And I haven't seen her around here.

J: Well somebody told me she heard you were seeing one of her clients? When did you and the wife split? I saw y'all together here at your grandpops funeral.

H: Who told you that? And What are you talking about man. We are very much together.

J: Aw s**t man. N***as aint s**t. Carmelita Phillips (the girl in school who was always threatening to beat me up) said she heard you was messing with a ho.

H: What!?!!!

J: Yeah dude you a trick. Somebody said you was caught with one of Regina's clients. And you was on Johns TV or in the newspaper down there.

H: This is incredible.

And with that I woke up in a cold sweat. Now I know why the innocent often look guilty. Man if this was to happen I would never go back to Detroit again. Cause Detroit is nothing but a big country town where there is less than six degrees of separation between everyone. And if this got out I would be known as Harold Gibson--da Trick.

Final Rant of the day--I went to a three hour funeral. Three hours!!! Yeah the brother was a nice man but three hours????

The Continuing Adventures of Ms. Sarah the Literal Serial Ho

2006-01-10T07:27:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have days when you know that you should not answer the phone?
But you did not listen to the inner voice of wisdom and you picked up the phone and

G: Hello.

S: It's me Sarah.

G: What's the matter?

S: Damn can't you at least say Happy New Year?

G: Sarah, you gettin ready to go down on your prostitution charge. What's happy about this new year for you?

S: Gibbs sometimes I think you don't like me.

G: Sometimes you be right. Imagine that.

S: Anyway, my PD--you short for Public Defender, he thinks that you need to write a letter vouching for my character.

G: And put who's name on it.

S: Yours of course.

G: You must be out of your mind.

S: Gibbs stop being so touchy. You know this was my first offense.

G: No it was the first time your silly behind got caught.

S: Anyway, write a letter, tell the judge about how I love working with chillun and the good stuff I do down at my church.

G: What good stuff do you do down at your church?

S: I go.

G: And----

S: I go at least once the month.

G: You just a zealot ain't you.

S: Yes I is. What's a zealot.

G: Forget about it.

S: See my PD he thinks if I get some support from my church family it will help me in my case.

G: I don't go to your church.

S: So you do go to church? Don't you?

G: Yeah but I know you from the hood. Not from church.

S: You know I be modeling Jesus all the time.

G: Damn is Jesus a crack ho too?

S: Oooo-you is going straight to hell.

G: Sarah I got to go.

S: Write my letter or I am going tell everybody we had sex.

G: We didn't

S: I know that and you know that but those bitches you know will believe anything nasty I say.

G: Who am I writing this letter to?

S: You so sweet Gibbs

G: You are such a low down ho.

S: I bet you say that to all your women, that's exactly why you don't get none. I need that letter by Thursday. Bye.

To: Judge Washington-Wilson: Sarah is a ho with a heart of gold.

The Book of Daniel

2006-01-07T12:35:00.000-08:00

After all the hype, the Book of Daniel was really kind of a let down. I thought it was more Desperate Housewives, than an attack on Christianity. But one thing I did like about it was that it showed how complicated being and living Christian can be.

Why?

Because like all the heathens, we Christians want happiness too. We want to find satisfaction and peace. We want to be accepted for who we are by those who love and we really do not want to disappoint anybody. We also want to keep our flaws and mistakes under wraps.

We do have sex and we do enjoy having sex with our spouses! And even though we know it ain't right, when our spouses are no longer capable of meeting those companionship needs sometimes Christians even clergy cross the line into "adultery."

And while I do not condone it, I am real enough with myself and my savior to know that stuff happens and I pray not to be tested.

We also know that folks are shacking and while I personally don't think it's a good idea, I know others do it so who am I to judge.

But what I found most fascinating in the overly long two hour premiere is the need on the part of Christians to make others feel good. I thought the show did an excellent job of showing how far clergy will go to make others feel comfortable.

As a person who works with clergy people and those aspiring to ministry I see the daily struggle to appear to be "super people" yet on th inside, doubt and fear have not yet been banished, even though we may love the heck outta Jesus we still feel unsure if we are doing the right thing and we often question what would Jesus do.

Christians have the show and have had for several years that reflect the values they want to purport to be Christian and the lifestyle of the clergy family it's called 7th Heaven. There people confess their sins, feel bad when they get what they want and love their enemies.

The real deal is that we struggle but one thing about the Book of Daniel is that in his alone time the pastor could talk to Jesus (even his white version because he is white) and I think for most of us we also talk to Jesus when we are trying and not succeeding at being Christ like or when we just can't figure out why we're going through the s**t we are enduring.

For the show **

For the concepts ***

Gibby has spoken.

Let the church say WTF

AMEN

Happy Day After although still a holiday Christmas

2005-12-26T09:57:00.000-08:00

My Christmas was wonderful. I went to church, cooked a full spread and just fellowshipped with the family. We opened a few gifts and just shared the day together thankful to God that we have each other for another year.

This year I have thought a lot about my mother. She died in the spring of 2000 and I have been in a Christmas blue mood for a long time because our last Christmas together was spoiled by the ridiculous behavior of her sister.

My mother was a lover of the essence of Christmas, the decorations the special "spirit" of the holiday. Yesterday for the first time since she died I felt that essence. We did not buy a lot of junk gifts, I shopped only one day. We just sat around and rejoiced that we had made it through another season together.

I am glad that I joined the blog world this year. Most of the blogs are like this one self-indulgent but that's okay. It's okay because we all need to express what is inside. Sometimes bloggers get upset when others criticize but I think it's cool. It does not change who you are and in many ways it gives you the opportunity to see how others view you for free!

Merry day after the day holiday to all of you and Happy Kwanzaa to you.

Jesus is NOT Santa Claus

2005-12-16T18:29:00.000-08:00

I am officially becoming Ebenezer Scrooge. I am so sick of the commercialism of Christmas. Aaron McGruder may be on his way straight to hell for this but he has a point. What the heck is going on?

He betta get me this?

If I don't spend at least $1,000 on my baby she aint gonna have a good Christms.

What in the name of Santa Jesus Claus is a good Christmas.

Okay news flash Christians

The Christmas Tree is not a religious symbol. I don't care how many monkey ass preachers try to dress it up as a religious symbol it aint.

It ain't got nothing to do with Jesus. The tree is not a symbol of the cross upon which he hung. The Star is not symbolic of his description as a bright and morning star and no the lights are symbolic that Jesus is the light of the world. Oh and hell no, the ornaments are not the blessings upon which we are adorned. I know the crap sounds good but it's total bull****.

It is an ancient custom from many cultures and it is not in the Holy Bible which I just heard a stupid jack leg ass preacher say. Now if that triangular shape representing the trinity works for you so be it, but quit spreading myths and legends.

The giving of gifts is not symbolic of Christ's love for us. According to Christian belief and doctrine we believe that Christ DIED for the sins of the world before the world fell into love with Him.

Now you money grubbing gift clutching folks know that y'all ain't buyin crap for nobody that one does not love you or ain't buying you no gift.

I could go on and on. But I feel a shout coming on. Hold on. No that was just a leg cramp.

And why are y'all Christians so upset if somebody don't say Merry Christmas, did I fall asleep and all the ills of the world have been cleared up and semantics is all we got to fight about now?

Okay okay. I will be nice. Y'all know i love y'all. Here's my Christmas wish list for all those in blog land Peace Happiness, Faith and joy now and always.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy day if it means nothing to you spiritually.

Whatever Happened to Christmas

2005-12-12T13:06:00.000-08:00

Alright I give up. Christmas is no longer a religious holiday at all.

This does not have anything to do with whether you say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. This is about what happened to the joy of the day.

Everything is now about what you got or did not get. If kids don't get Ipods, cell phones, laptops and expensive game consoles, they aren't having a good Christmas.

Whatever happened to fruit and nuts, and a doll or something, why have we become so extravagant.

I am serious. Why have we forsaken the birth of Christ, the most un-selfish of all icons and turned the day of his "alleged" birth into the most selfish of all days.

Oh yes we are selfish at Christmas, we buy presents because people buy us presents. Let somebody cross you and not buy you a present. They got hell to pay.

Will somebody please explain why its a sad Christmas if we don't get presents yet have the love of another on any day? Y'all betta help me. Cause I am about to lose my mind.

An Indifferent God?

2005-11-28T16:21:00.000-08:00

I was reading a blog by summer m.'s partner in crime Saf where she talked about an indifferent God. As I recall it was a term her mother used to describe some religious pundits who tried to explain the events of 9-11. One of the things she said " Whenever something happens that we want, we call it a blessing and thank God. Whenever something happens that we don't want, we call it an opportunity to learn and try not to resent Him. God is responsible for the miracle of birth and the inevitability of death." I guess in many ways that is what we who call ourselves Christians do on a daily basis. We live in the midst of a mystery. We live and we thrive serving a God who has us in suspense, not knowing when God will return, yet promising it could be any second any minute any hour. Yet we are not allowed to sit on our duffs, being good and holy and waiting on the return. We must act out the great commission.

It is the weirdest thing my logical mind ever processes. I think about it all the time. I pray for preachers and teachers who have to live in this messy existence who authentically believe what they preach. Who earnestly are committed to serving one who is the creator of life and one who allows and evens prophesies physical death.

But then again, I do not understand why good things happen to bad people. I do not understand why it rains on the just as well as the unjust. I do not understand why I have to go through some of the challenges I go through or I went through. Yet with every fiber of my being, I do trust in this so called system called Christianity. I know all Christians don't love me or even see me as a brother, yet I find myself trusting God more and more as I grow older.

I used to believe that if you just lived right and did not do anything to harm others then it would be okay. But then I have watched as these same people have suffered through difficulties with their children, children just like mine with 2 parents, middle class, educated parents who did the soccer thing, the boy/girl scout thing, the jack and jill thing the PTO etc. Right now I am feeling not self righteous but blessed that I did not experience that tribulation.

I remember being very angry with God when my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. Why her? She's been a good mother and a good person. Why her? Didn't God know that I needed her? Didn't God know my brother needed her? Well I kept praying that God would miraculously heal her but it did not happen. But something else happened and maybe it's my stretch, but she was helpless. Her greatest fear she remarked is that her son's would have to clean her ass. She never wanted to be unable to care for herself.

After her last release from the hospital she was coming to my house to live in my dining room in hospice. She decided against any further surgeries, because she was okay with dying but not okay with being sick. They brought her home to us on a Saturday afternoon, she played with the grandchildren joked with us and had the worst night of her life. She was sick, and she could not go to the toilet seat without assistance. She told me to go away and let my wife tend to her.

That morning I was supposed to serve at the church but I was going to stay home and she said, you need to go to church. I will be here when you get back.

When I got home, she was on her way home. She was alive when I got home but less than 30 minutes later she was gone. I did not cry but I laughed. I said to myself God answered her prayer. Was God indifferent? I don't think so. Her death was not traumatizing to me but it helped me understand that life is complex, and God is like a mystery and I just can't put it down.

Katrina, Wilma 9-11 Iraq civil unrest, suicide bombers, I can't explain them at all. I don't why they happened or why God allowed it no more than I understand why my mother got lung cancer and she smoked 9 mos. and My mother in law who smokes all the time for over 50 years does not. But like the song writer said It is well with my soul.

My Favorite Crack Addict

2005-11-22T22:17:00.000-08:00

I think I have written about this woman before, she is a crack addict, not a suspected addict but one who has been confirmed. Not only is she a crack addict she is also involved in her church, she works with the youth, she has a great heart for young people.

She also is mother of two girls she adopted when their parents were sent to prison by a judge. So she is a good person but her addiction is driving her to the very depths of hell. When I refer to hell it is not the hell of theology or denomination. I am speaking of the hell that Paul referred to when he found hismslf conflicted. Doing what he should not do and not being able to do what he should.

She was recently arrested for prostitution. It was all over the newspaper and local radio. So its no secret in our town. I recently spoke with Sarah after she was released from jail.

Sarah: Gibby I did not like being in jail one bit.

Gibby: I'm sure.

Sarah: I was entrapped.

G: Why do you say that?

S: Because I kept asking the man was he a police officer talkin to me like that.

G: And you believed him.

S: My sister says I am too friendly with everybody.

G: Sarah, my friend Monica said the only women who prostitute these days are on drugs. Now we know you are on crack. Don't you think it is time to pull up?

S: What??? I was not trying to do no crack.

G: Please tell that to somebody trying to fool themselves. Monica is right! Women who want to sell their bodies rent a pole in a strip joint. You my sister are on crack admit it to yourself don't worry bout me.

S: Yeah I have an affinity to the deriative. But still I wasn't trying to be no ho.

G: Sarah, please, just stop it. I don't know much, and tryin to know less about that kind of crap but everybody knows you were picked up on Castle Hill Road, the ho stroll in our town.

S: You know the 66 (Phillips-Cononco) gas station is on that street. I was down there trying to get the girls--

G: Will you stop it for goodness sakes. Woman you cannot keep a dime in your pocket. You been evicted three times in the last four years, your lights and your gas have been turned off. You "borrowed" the girl scout cookie money for goodness sake. Your car was repo'd and you cain't find no job and now you on administrative leave as subsitute teacher. You weren't out there for the girls, you wanted some crack.

S: Whatever you say Mr. High and Holy.

G: I just want you to keep this shit real

S: I did not do anything unusual. I was just talkin to the man, he was talkin about me givin him head and him playin in my pussy so I got in his car and the next thing I knew cops were all around.

G: And so you think normal ordinary everyday women allow "white cop-looking muthafuckas to talk them about giving some head and then they get in car with these potential serial killers cuz they just tryin to be hospitable?

Silence

S: Fuck you.

G: Only in your dreams and my nightmares.

S: You a Punk Ass Bitch

G: And you are a Literal Serial Ho (for real, for real)

Laughter then tears.

A Blessed Feeling

2005-11-06T15:02:00.000-08:00

Today I feel blessed. Don't ask me why, not because I am trying to withhold information but because I really do not know why.

No it's not the same as happy. Because I am not exactly happy, I have several pressing issues going on right now, so no it definitely is not synonymus with happy. But I feel blessed.

One of the reasons I feel blessed is because I am learning how to trust God in the midst of my storm. Yeah, I know about God and Christianity being tools of ethnic oppression and domination but you know something, it works for me.

I was watching a renowned young preacher on television this morning and while much of his sermon was full of contradiction and rife with hyperbole, I got something out of it.

At one point he said say the name of a friend who is going through something and then say Jesus.

What you have done he said is to call forth the power of Jesus into the broken area of that person's life.

Wow, at first I howled. That shit is funny (you probably should not call stuff in a sermon shit) I thought damn it, I want to make it easy on folk, I need to design a praise machine.

Whenever you in trouble just press a button, and the machine will shout, JESUS. When you feel like moaning flip the switch to Gospel and the choir will moan out JE---SUS----JE---SUS---JE---SUS. If you are feeling a little nasty flip it to hip-hop and it might say Aw F**k, help me Jesus, n-word-a.

I am not making fun of Christians, because I am a sanctified, holy ghost filled man from way-way-way back. I am a "I-really-love-the-Lord,-you-don't-know-what-he's-done -for-me-gave-me-the-victory" type of man. I am not afraid to praise God but I know that in the midst of praise pain exists, somebody is hurting, somebody is crying, somebody is facing a difficult dilemma and the preacher reminded me that there is power in the name, just saying Jesus is therapeutic at times.

It is as easy as that? Heck no, being spirit filled is continuous work and not a one time activity, and living that way is even more of a challenge.

So on a day when happiness is not mine, I feel blessed, I shouted the name JESUS and nothing happened on the outside but something is going on and as the old song says I feel like going on.

Three Things

2005-10-28T21:01:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite bloggers the mysterious E has tagged me. I feel so honored.

THREE THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND:
[1] Why do church folk always talk about one another?
[2] Why does Maury do baby daddy shows every damn week?
[3] Why won't I settle down with one job instead of five?

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
[1] my bible
[2] my children's photo album
[3] my antibiotics from the dentist

THREE THINGS I’M DOING RIGHT NOW:
[1] trying to figure out how to do this list.
[2] thinking about all the meetings I have tomorrow.
[3] congratulating for the White Sox for a sweep of the World Series, the AL rocks.

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
[1] see my daughter win an Oscar
[2] see my son preach his consecration sermon and win a Tony
[3] make my wife very very very happy

THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
[1] analyze a financial statement
[2] help men and women understand the nature of vocation
[3] promise never to sing in public.

THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
[1] giddy
[2] goofy
[3] great

THREE THINGS I CAN’T DO:
[1] fix a flat.
[2] pretend to like snoots
[3] carry a tune

THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
[1] Luther Vandross
[2] Jennifer Holiday sing And I am Telling You I'm Not Going
[3] Beams of Heaven by Oleta Adams

THREE THINGS I DON’T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
[1] james dobson
[2] rush limbaugh
[3] Dr. Laura

THREE THINGS YOU SAY:
[1] For real, for real (for why? for why?)
[2] Are you serious?
[3] Praise the Lord!

THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
[1] Fried Chicken
[2] Baked Chicken
[3] Did I say Chicken?

THREE THINGS YOU’D LIKE TO LEARN:
[1] speak Spanish
[2] Biblical languages
[3] how to effectively communicate with females

THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
[1] water
[2] coffee
[3] diet cola

THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
[1] The Bob Newhart Show (Set in Chicago)
[2] Maude
[3] Medical Center

THREE THINGS YOU WISH PEOPLE WOULD LEARN TO DO:
[1] be polite
[2] cell phone etiquette
[3] drive like they have some sense

THREE THINGS I WOULD CHANGE ABOUT ME:
[1] lose weight
[2] stop actin like I got adhd
[3] become an activist.

THREE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BEING A MAN:
[1] standing up to pee
[2] no periods
[3] I don't have to color my gray

THREE THINGS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH:
[1] Golden Girls Reruns
[2] Ghetto Behavior
[3] Designing Women

THREE THINGS I LOOK FOR IN A GUY (OR GAL):
[1] wonderful personality
[2] honesty
[3] humor

Now I must tag three others:

Clay Cane
Fecundmellow
my truth

Go for it.

A Black Man Considers Suicide....

2005-10-18T22:13:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: If you have recently lost a loved one because of suicide, please do not read this post. And if you have ever considered suicide to get back at someone for hurting you in any way then please go get some help, because logic is not working for you. Finally, if you have made a f**king mess that you do not know how to clean up, suicide will just cause people to hate your guts forever.

One of the most ridiculous thoughts that has ever crossed my mind is what would happen if I committed suicide.

First, the people who love me ought to be mad as hell. People who commit suicide are self centered ego maniacs wait that's too broad. If I committed suicide, I would be a self centered egomaniac.

Second, the person who discovered me, ought to kick my ass just for the hell of it. What a friggin ugly interruption to a day. On top of all that you got to call the police, and wait around and answer questions that you would not be able to answer.

Third, somebody ought to buy a billboard and write Harold Gibson is an asshole.

Fourth, if in my commission of suicide I involved another person, I would think I would have earned a one way ticket to hell for I had no damn business causing grief for all these people just to salve my wounded sense of self.

Fifth, if my financial affairs are out of whack, and I don't have the funds to bury me, and maintain the house for a while, please kick my ass even though I am dead.

I guess that having considered suicide, living through the pain and the shame is better especially since I believe God will walk with me.

Enjoy Life!

Oh I Forgot to Tell You...God and a little Crystal Goes a Long Way

2005-10-06T08:34:00.000-07:00

Now that Ashley Smith has admitted that it took a little more than Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life to quell her captor, I wonder why people often forget pertinent details when telling a juicy story.

Now don't get me wrong, I am sure Smith was scared out of her mind, but I feel like she tricked us, telling us all about God and how it he brought her through, when she should have told the whole story at first.

Why? Because she was discredited her testimony. Cynics like me now believe that her captor was high as a kite when he gave her up rather than converted.

I always wondered what in the Purpose Driven Life would cause someone to give up their freedom, the book is pablum for the already convinced and a horrible piece of theological drivel. Warren takes scripture out of context like an addict smokes crack and he just doesn't care. But, he's made a mint off this so I am wracking my brain but I got a problem about mis handling scripture, but that will be another post.

I find it interesting that she left this out unless she was thinking this might work for me, and help me sell the book, that little detail nobody knew about.

Unfortunately this drug incident, will not make her popular among the religious because it was all about God and now God has to share the spotlight with Crystal Meth.

Ashley will sell some books but I believe she probably on the 13th minute of her 15.

The Answer is NO

2005-10-02T23:51:00.000-07:00

My lovely daughter called me today and we discussed one of the recent stumbles she encountered in life. About a month ago her "new" boyfriend, confessed that he and his old girlfriend were pregnant.

To her credit my lovely one did not lose her mind or even snap at the brother, but I know in a way her heart was broken. But like her dad, she is a trouper, and she never lets anyone know when they get to her.

So this dude who we shall call lameassnegro, who I did call out as a lameassnegro when I met him, (because I am a good judge of character) catches up with daddy's darling at the mall where they work and he invites her to the baby shower.

It seems his babymama and him were havin a baby shower and he could invite some people so he invites daddy's darling. (now when she told me this I had a few choice words for the lame ass motherf**er, i mean negro.) She said she told him she knew it was the 21st century and all but that was more than she really needed to do.

Daddy he's been listening to that old skool music station too long. He must think I am going to bust up in the joint singin that old lame song you used to play by Vesta
Congratulations.

He told my daughter that the fact that he was about to be somebody's daddy and somebody's babydaddy should not keep them from hanging together. So let's go out next week or something.

The daughter said to herself is this for real. Then once she realized that he was serious she looked at him and said The answer is NO.

I'm so proud.

Oh No She Didn't

2005-09-27T20:25:00.000-07:00

I am an adjunct faculty member at a local college and in my class this morning we were looking at the linguistic struggle of presenting God using gender neutral pronouns. It was an interesting discussion because it allowed the students to express themselves on a topic people either love or hate.

The discussion was rich but I was continually trying to keep these grad students focused on examining the text before sharing their interpretation. Anyway in the midst of the conversation one of my African American students stated she thought that an analogy the writer of our article used about the evolution of Negro-Black-African American was interesting. Perhaps but what happened next floored me.

A white student a woman in her late 40's to early 50's said, "I know how dramatic that change was, because I grew up in the south and we regularly referred to black people as niggers."

Oh no she didn't.

Yes she did.

One of the sisters started to buck up out of her chair and I had to act fast to avoid a race riot.

"Hey hold on--hold on."

"[Foolish Bitch-not her real name but her an apt description] you just showed us that words have power and interpretation is subjective and always steeped in context. You also used willfully and blatantly used language of oppression and violence in my class a direct violation of the syallbus. Do it again and you will show your colleagues how to struggle in a required course."

Make sure you go back and read my syallabus, "violent, threatening, derogatory or profane language is not allowed. If you are wondering if something meets this standard you probably should not use it, unless you clear it with me."

[This was added when I had a class of cussing motherf**kers who got on my last d**n nerve.]

After the class Foolish Bitch came up to me and said, I thought you were a little harsh I did not mean any harm.

"I am having a difficult time believing that Foolish Bitch. What's next are you going to call the lesbians in the class by a derogatory name cause your daddy used to do it? Are you going to call the Asians by the names you heard your great grandma use and you used to use before you got some sense? Don't try that with me. Today we shall chalk this up to your ignorance, but get smart quick. However consider yourself warned. Do not let it happen again."

Well Foolish Bitch, I think you need to develop a great sensitivity to the feelings of others if you plan to continue in ministry. You may be a great ministry gift, but take note of Pat Robertson and others who make stupid gaffes and learn from them.

The sister who bucked came to me also and said, I cannot believe that bitch used that word. She betta be careful, I might be a minister but I ain't all the way saved yet.

Well my sister, I said, don't give Foolish Bitch any satisfaction, she will be cool but at least now you know where she stands.

That's why I can't get a PhD this s**t would get on my nerves every day.

This evening the Department Chair called and asked me if I threatened to flunk a student before the class because if I did I might be in trouble.

[These hoes ain't payin enuf money for me to be in trouble.]

I invited him to view the tape I always tape our early sessions to compare them to later discussions to show growth.

When the Department Chair heard her said Nigger she said no she didn't say that.

Yes she did. Then she heard my comment and said I was too soft on Foolish Bitch.

White Folks Have Drama Too Part One

2005-09-26T23:01:00.000-07:00

This morning while I was in the midst of a deep sleep. The phone rang. I saw that it was the local hospital. Damn I thought what time is it? It was just 4:55. S**t couldn't these folk have waited an hour to die.

I jumped up hit the shower for a minute, threw on some clothes and headed for the hospital. One family was in the ER. Their relative was dead, but the doctor had not told them yet.

I walk into what they call the grieving room, Aw hell, Aw naw says the daughter, I know what's up, where in the grief room and here comes a preacher.

[Stupid me, always quick to point out that I am not a preacher,]
No ma'am I am the chaplain.

"I need MY pastor call him now."

"Not a problem, who is your pastor?"

"Don't you know my pastor?"

I am wondering does trauma make you insane? "No ma'am I do not know who your pastor may be."

"Shit--His f**king name is Creighton."

"Is that his last name? Creighton."

"No damnit, that is his first name."

"Do you have a number I can reach him at."

"Shit he supposed to be the pastor, he ought to be at the church."

I thought to myself, heifer it's 5:00 in the morning, but instead I ask and the name of the church?"

"G*d-damn it, You supposed to know this kind of s**t do they pay you for this?"

"Obivously you're not ready for me so I will come back when you get the information you need."

"Oh don't be offended, said one of the other folk, she talks like that to everybody." (Bitch you're your relative is sitting on the gurney turning ashen white while y'all waste my time, but what do I care, after the heifer was half-right I do get paid for this.)

"It is not a problem."

"Calvary MotherF**king Southern Baptist Church" Have you heard of it?

On Lancaster River Rd?

My God he knows something. (I repressed the obligatory pimp slap she deserved since, in a minute, her ass, would want to slobbering on my lab coat, but it ain't happenin)

As I was preparing to call the minister, the doctor came back down to the ER and said are you ready.

Damn I hate being there when families get the news.

Sure.

We walk in looking like the bearers of bad news.

Doctor is it serious? (Damn straight it's deadly)

I regret to inform you that Wiley died this morning.

What he's dead? How could he be dead? Did you try everything, did you shock his heart, can you still try. (Hell to the naw, the dude has been cold for about 90 minutes.)

I want to see him, but that's alright did you call Pastor Creighton?

I know he can raise my father from that gurney.

The doctor looks at me, and I look at him and say, would you like to see him?

As we are talking, Pastor Creighton comes into the room where is the deceased, he aint dead until God says so. Let's all pray.

Again

2005-09-22T19:16:00.000-07:00

"Hey Harold" says one of my acquaintances. He is not my friend, I don't really think I even like the man. He's more of a client than a friend.

"Hey back at ya man." I reply, fake smile firmly in place. "How are you." (No I ain't got no money)

"Cool. Man I have been meaning to talk to you for a while now."

"Really? About?"

"Me." (Of course, it would be about him. Everything is about him)

"What about you--this time." I am already getting tired of this conversation.

"Well, I have found the love of my life." (Somebody needs to tell this guy that just because a woman goes to bed with you, it does not mean that she loves you, or even cares for you. In the 21st century late 30 and 40 something women are better pimps and playas than the fellas.)

"Bully for you." (A whole week of unadulterated bliss for all those who know you.)

"She ain't like all those other bitches (an interesting description for the love of your life.)I been dealin with, she's smart, got a good job, nice car and her own house." (Then why the heck is she dealin with you? What besides a penis, do you bring to the party?)

"Congratulations, man I am really happy for you." My fake smile is really glowing today.

"Yeah, I want to keep this one. So I think I am going to rehab."

"Again?" (It just slipped out, I swear.) "I mean why are you going to rehab, this time?"

"Dang, you did not have to be that cold, I need to work on my recovery issues. I have not been going to meetings, etc. etc." (He has been rehearsing this conversation for a while.)

"Well before you go on a 21 day vacation, why don't you start with the meetings. After all man let's face it, you know all there is to know about recovery."

"See. You are just like my family, nobody wants to encourage me anymore."

"Sorry man, but what about new girl, how does she feel about this?"

"She does not know."

The fake smile vanishes. "How does she not know? Doesn't she wonder why a 45 year old man lives with his mother and his sister and never goes to work?"

"She just thinks I am a victim of discrimination against black men. She is the kind of sister that understands how hard it is for us. Man, I tell you she is a dream."

(Or a fool, I think almost out loud.)"Well how will you explain a 21 day vacation?"

"I don't know, this is about me anyway, it is not about her."

"Obivously."

"What do you mean?" he asks, raising his voice.

" It's always about you, in fact you are the most self centered person I have ever met in my life."

"See, Harold, that's why don't nobody like you. You say mean things and you are not supportive. Brothers need to stick together. There is a conspiracy to get us and we are falling for the trap."

Since I was not feeling up to a verbal altercation, I punked out. "Man I'm sorry. I was a little harsh. I guess I don't want you to mess up your good thing."

"It's all right. Hey, man can you loan me $10.00, see I got to go downtown...."

Suddenly, it hits me, this was the purpose of this whole ridiculous conversation. This Negro thinks I don't know him or I am stupid. I am mad but I am rejuvenated. "Why so you go on yet another farewell to crack tour?"

"What?"

"Negro man please. You want to go on a crack binge, so you convince yourself, that you're going to rehab in a few days so why not go out in style. You have done this before, several times. You better be careful or your ass is going to end up in hobo park."

Agitated that "the human ATM" is closed, "F**k this, I'm sick of niggas trying to run my motherf**kin' life. All y'all a**holes can kiss my ass. You think you bettern than me, that's bulls**t."

I am slightly disappointed that our conversation was not uplifting. "Hey man, I will be praying for you. I hope you are able to stick with it, this time."

"F**k you and your God. Don't pray for me, I don't believe in religion. Let me get the f**k on, I got things to do."

"Later. man" I say extending my hand.

"Go to hell." He says walking away. "Bitch ass punks always get on my nerves."

The Urban Campground

2005-09-22T11:29:00.000-07:00

Driving along with my god children on a sunny summer day, Nicholas asks "Uncle Harry can we go camping?"

Uncle Harry does not camp under any circumstances.

I am sure your mommy and daddy will take you. (Who did these kids think I am Uncle Buck, the only reason I have them today is because I lost a stupid bet to their dad.)

Well Marsha, the youngest says can we have a picnic like those people.

What people.

The people in the park.

And it hit me. I have driven past this park for years and never looked at the people in the park. At the office this is called "Hobo Park" because it is full of people who are homeless and unemployed and when they are not in Hobo Park they are on the corners of our city, hustling for change, bus fare, lunch etc.

Oh we can't go for a picnic in the park today, we have to go to the library for the puppeet show. (The first time in my life I was glad to go to a puppet show.)

OOOOOOO said Nicholas, that man is peeing in the park.

Quit being so nosy and mind your own business, help Uncle Harold find a parking space.

We finally parked and I took the children to the puppet show, and there was a craft workshop following the puppet show so I walked around the library and I encountered a man who decided that I needed to engage in conversation.

What up man, he said.

Nothing I said.

So what are you doing here, just hanging out?

No, my god children are making projects to take home to their parents.

Oh I see... So what's on your mind.

Nothing really, sir, can I help you in some way?

Yeah give me a million dollars and a house on the lake.

We laughed, No I just wanted to talk to somebody he said.

I was feeling kind of uncomfortable but I made myself listen.

I listened as the man told a variety of tales, some of them very tall about why he was out of a home and out of a job and out of a marriage.

I don't want to ask you for money he said,

But, I said.

He chuckled, you could take me to the restaurant

No I don't have time. Here's six dollars, all the money I have.

Thanks man, he said, thanks for listening and thanks for respecting my humanity.

No problem, here come the children, I need to get ready.

Peace man.

Peace.

And I watched as he left the library and he walked into hobo park one more time.

I Love Being Black...

2005-09-19T04:01:00.000-07:00

But, why do we read countless, redundant resolutions and letters of condolences at funerals. I know churches have to send these mindless soulless letters not for the family but for those church members who attend the funeral. And why does the usher board, the missionary workers and the senior chancel choir, fromt he same church all have to offer a resolution? And at every funeral, why does the once cracked out cousin, now saved, sanctified, and filled with the holy ghost, always have to testify about how the Lord saved her from the rocks, and set her upon the rock. (Insert organ flourish) And if one more preacher says I've been where you sit, I might start shouting and dancing just because I can.

Thanks I feel better now.

How come I was at the funeral over 2 hours and the eulogy had not even started yet.

I Need Some Serious Help

2005-09-19T03:40:00.000-07:00

This post makes me feel really shallow. I know with all the things going on politically and culturally I should have a stronger topic but I think I'm overdosed on Katrina (don't stop praying and giving), the price of gasoline, the war in Iraq etc, etc.

I have just come back from a long conference and as I was headed home it hit me like a brick, I have not viewed one episode of Law and Order in any of its manifestations in a whole week.

I went the whole week without the original, the special victims unit, or criminal intent. How could this happen. Well once I settled in at home I tried to satisfy my hunger for Law and Order but things kept getting in the way.

I am grouchy, I have a headache and I just can't function. Give me my Law and Order.

I like the original Law and Order the best, although I have hated the cast members over the years. I could not stand Richard "I only have one look" Brooks, for a while Chris Noth got on my nerves. I thought Angie Harmon was too beautiful to be an Assistant DA and S. Epatha Merkerson--she's a homegirl--Go Detroit! is so good she makes it look too easy. (Congrats on the Emmy!) And although I don't like his politics, Fred Dalton Thompson is great as the DA.

SVU makes me feel creepy but I think the story lines are gripping. But I always feel weird after hearing about new perversions, some which would have never crossed my mind. Tamara Tunie is so cool and beautiful as the ME. I am in love with her voice. I just found out she does a soap, but I don't like soaps.

Criminal Intent is a little harder to get my hands around but now that its moving to nightly on USA I might get hooked, the lead character is wacky and unlike the other Law and Order's the show spins around him. We will see.

No Tears for Rehinquist

2005-09-08T13:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know we're supposed to be saddened by someone's death. But the chief justice might have been Sandy Day O Connor's hero, he was not mine. Here is another perspective of our late Chief Justice.

Telling the Truth About Chief Justice Rehnquist
by Allan Dershowitz

09/04/2005

My mother always told me that when a person dies, one should not say anything bad about him. My mother was wrong. History requires truth, not puffery or silence, especially about powerful governmental figures. And obituaries are a first draft of history.
So here’s the truth about Chief Justice Rehnquist you won’t hear on Fox News or from politicians. Chief Justice William Rehnquist set back liberty, equality, and human rights perhaps more than any American judge of this generation. His rise to power speaks volumes about the current state of American values.

Let’s begin at the beginning. Rehnquist bragged about being first in his class at Stanford Law School. Today Stanford is a great law school with a diverse student body, but in the late 1940s and early 1950s, it discriminated against Jews and other minorities, both in the admission of students and in the selection of faculty. Justice Stephen Breyer recalled an earlier period of Stanford’s history: “When my father was at Stanford, he could not join any of the social organizations because he was Jewish, and those organizations, at that time, did not accept Jews.” Rehnquist not only benefited in his class ranking from this discrimination; he was also part of that bigotry. When he was nominated to be an associate justice in 1971, I learned from several sources who had known him as a student that he had outraged Jewish classmates by goose-stepping and heil-Hitlering with brown-shirted friends in front of a dormitory that housed the school’s few Jewish students. He also was infamous for telling racist and anti-Semitic jokes.

As a law clerk, Rehnquist wrote a memorandum for Justice Jackson while the court was considering several school desegregation cases, including Brown v. Board of Education. Rehnquist’s memo, entitled “A Random Thought on the Segregation Cases,” defended the separate-but-equal doctrine embodied in the 1896 Supreme Court case of Plessy v. Ferguson. Rehnquist concluded the Plessy “was right and should be reaffirmed.” When questioned about the memos by the Senate Judiciary Committee in both 1971 and 1986, Rehnquist blamed his defense of segregation on the dead Justice, stating – under oath – that his memo was meant to reflect the views of Justice Jackson. But Justice Jackson voted in Brown, along with a unanimous Court, to strike down school segregation. According to historian Mark Tushnet, Justice Jackson’s longtime legal secretary called Rehnquist’s Senate testimony an attempt to “smear[] the reputation of a great justice.” Rehnquist later admitted to defending Plessy in arguments with fellow law clerks. He did not acknowledge that he committed perjury in front of the Judiciary Committee to get his job.

The young Rehnquist began his legal career as a Republican functionary by obstructing African-American and Hispanic voting at Phoenix polling locations (“Operation Eagle Eye”). As Richard Cohen of The Washington Post wrote, “[H]e helped challenge the voting qualifications of Arizona blacks and Hispanics. He was entitled to do so. But even if he did not personally harass potential voters, as witnesses allege, he clearly was a brass-knuckle partisan, someone who would deny the ballot to fellow citizens for trivial political reasons -- and who made his selection on the basis of race or ethnicity.” In a word, he started out his political career as a Republican thug.

Rehnquist later bought a home in Vermont with a restrictive covenant that barred sale of the property to ''any member of the Hebrew race.”

Rehnquist’s judicial philosophy was result-oriented, activist, and authoritarian. He sometimes moderated his views for prudential or pragmatic reasons, but his vote could almost always be predicted based on who the parties were, not what the legal issues happened to be. He generally opposed the rights of gays, women, blacks, aliens, and religious minorities. He was a friend of corporations, polluters, right wing Republicans, religious fundamentalists, homophobes, and other bigots.

Rehnquist served on the Supreme Court for thirty-three years and as chief justice for nineteen. Yet no opinion comes to mind which will be remembered as brilliant, innovative, or memorable. He will be remembered not for the quality of his opinions but rather for the outcomes decided by his votes, especially Bush v. Gore, in which he accepted an Equal Protection claim that was totally inconsistent with his prior views on that clause. He will also be remembered as a Chief Justice who fought for the independence and authority of the judiciary. This is his only positive contribution to an otherwise regressive career.

Within moments of Rehnquist’s death, Fox News called and asked for my comments, presumably aware that I was a longtime critic of the late Chief Justice. After making several of these points to Alan Colmes (who was supposed to be interviewing me), Sean Hannity intruded, and when he didn’t like my answers, he cut me off and terminated the interview. Only after I was off the air and could not respond did the attack against me begin, which is typical of Hannity’s bullying ambush style. He is afraid to attack when there’s someone there to respond. Since the interview, I’ve received dozens of e-mail hate messages, some of which are overtly anti-Semitic. One writer called me “a jew prick that takes it in the a** from ruth ginzburg [sic].” Another said I am “an ignorant socialist left-wing political hack …. You’re like a little Heinrich Himmler! (even the resemblance is uncanny!).” Yet another informed me that I “personally make us all lament the defeat of the Nazis!” A more restrained viewer found me to be “a disgrace to the Law, to Harvard, and to humanity.”

All this, for refusing to put a deceptive gloss on a man who made his career undermining the rights and liberties of American citizens.

My mother would want me to remain silent, but I think my father would have wanted me to tell the truth. My father was right.

Alan Dershowitz is a professor of law at Harvard. His latest book is The Case for Peace: How the Arab-Israeli Conflict Can Be Resolved (Wiley, 2005).

Beat that Bitch with a Bush

2005-09-07T15:33:00.000-07:00

Okay maybe it's just the fact that my allergies are acting up and I am sick of not being able to breathe and I want my nose to stop running.

But Barbara Bush can kiss my black ass. Not really because wrinkle face bet not come near me. Look at what the white haired heifer (literally) said:

"What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."

Is this the compassionate conservatism that the Bush family likes to proclaim they practice. Sure its okay to live in a stadium it's prolly better than what they lived in at home.

This is going to be a long drama and its just beginning.

Meanwhile Beat that Bush Bitch with a stick.

The Mystery of God

2005-08-28T18:01:00.000-07:00

I attended a gathering of new seminarians yesterday and one of the speakers gave me an "a-ha" moment when he told the new fresh seminarians to keep the Holy Spirit with them. For no matter how much we try to de-construct and re-construct our faith paradigm there is an element we must never forget to include the move of the spirit.

At first I thought oh that was cop-out. So everything we cannot figure out or we understand just blame it on the Holy Spirit. So as I pray for those affected by Hurricane Katrina, I am asking why? Yet I know there is no real answer, thus the mystery of God, how else can I explain why the eye did not hit New Orleans right on?

I remain ever thankful for all those who have found shelter and comfort or at least shelter during this time. May God bless those in Gulfport, Mobile and so on.

Fecal Mixers

2005-08-27T02:09:00.000-07:00

Warning this post contains an extraordinary number of references to that most beloved word in our profane vernacular "s**t" Just be thankful that I am so unskilled that there will be no pictures to view.

This morning I want to launch an attack against a group of individuals who should be on somebody's hitlist.

I am talking about the notorious shit stirrers. Yeah, I said it.

These menaces to society are found everywhere. You got shit stirrers at home. They keep the family in an uproar, whenever there is a peaceful fun family gathering, they got to go remembering. You know, shit stirrers usually begin by saying "remember."

"Remember, when your sister slept with your boyfriend? That was something else."

"Remember when your husband was arrested for soliciting? Did he get some jail time?"

We hate these people because they just won't leave it alone.

They come to you at work, "Man, I can't believe what Jack just said about you, man, he is running your work down."

They come to you at church, "I can't believe how the pastor forgot to call your name, after all you were the assistant to the assistant corresponding secretary."

or "Girl, they ate everybody's green beans but yours, I don't think the kitchen committee likes you."

The problem with shit stirrers is most of the time these punks are smiling in your face all the time.

Undisputed Truth, and "you old as hell if you remember them" (a typical shit stirring remark) in their only hit sang Smiling faces show no traces of the evil that lurks within.

You got shit stirrers at the club, telling you what "somebody" said.

And that's my last point, who the hell is somebody?

If somebody got something to say to me, then let somebody be a man or a woman and tell me themselves.

But noooo- somebody has its own spokesperson

The shit stirrer.

The problem with shit stirring is that anyone can be a shit stirrer, there are casual shit stirrers, chronic shit stirrers and psychotic shit stirrers. There are sexual shit stirrers, and stupid shit stirrers. Shit Stirrers cross all socio-economic lines, they can be rich and poor, black or white, jew or gentile, protestant, catholic and agnostic. Shit stirrers are male and female, straight and gay, fat and skinny. Shit stirrers are punks, politicians, preachers and pundits.

I guarantee that in your circle of acquaintances you know some shit stirrers. You may be an occasional shit stirrer or some of you are serial shit stirrers.

I know some of you are in denial, but in the very breath you protest, you probably stir some shit by announcing that you are not like so-and-so.

And if you read blogs or especially if you write blogs, you know that bloggers are notorious for stirring all kinds of shit.

Now if you are a shit stirrer I have some help for you, "SSA."

You've heard of Overeaters Anonymous, and many of you have attended or need to attend "Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous" well I have found that Shit Stirrers have their own support group.

They will be meeting in your city soon. You know you need to be there. However if you show up, somebody will know and somebody will tell.

So remember the next time somebody says "Hi my name is Harold and it's nice to meet you." What they really are saying is

"Hi, my name is Harold and I am a shit stirrer."

Now go take a shower.

Pro Choice is the only way

2005-08-26T06:04:00.000-07:00

Nick Cannon is receiving much love from the pro life movement because of his song Let me live. And without analyzing the maudlin contrived nature of the video I want to examine the bigger issue.

What happened in this video is a woman exercised her right to choose. This is very important, for many women in this circumstance this is an option they can embrace and one where they will excel because they chose it.

Thrusting a child on a woman who is not prepared for the task, doubles the dysfunctional population. If a woman knows that she does not want to bear children and some how ends up pregnant, let her choose what she wishes to do with her body.

And don't tell me nothing about God. Whatever God wants God does. He does not need legislation or court decisions. So if its God plan it will happen, God has the power to intervene in the affairs of humankind, but if this is a free will decision let it be one.

Abortion cannot possibly be an easy thing, it is a difficult decision.

The only way you can be pro life is to be like my friend Kay.

When her cousin wanted to abort her child, because she knew she was not capable of raising the child, Kay said, if you have it I will raise him or her for you.

The cousin said, "Not for me." I don't want to have anything parental to do with this child. Not now and not ever.

The family speculated on this during the pregnancy. Many thinking the cousin would change her mind after the birth.

Ha!

Three days after giving birth cousin walked out of the hospital and Kay had a baby.

17 years later, Kay is a mama, Cousin is the cousin. No terms are ever used like "birth mother" etc.

Cousin once said I am glad Kay is happy, I am glad Kay's daughter is happy. But if Kay had not taken her she and if I was in control of the situation she would have been aborted. Kay is a good mother to her and I guess that's how God wanted it so God did it.

What about the daughter? She is the happiest girl in the world, her mama and her daddy are wild about her and she's got a great family.

Does she know? Of course. This is real life not the Young and the Restless

Everybody knows the details, everybody lives in the reality.

Pro choice is the only way!

Something that makes you go hmmmm

2005-08-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

Televangelist, former Presidential candidate and all around good Christian Pat Robertson, has just called for the United States of America to assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez to stop his country from becoming "a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism."

Well by golly ol' Pat says let's knock him off while we have the chance. It's easier to just knock him off than to fight a $200 billion war to get rid of him and his operatives.

Let's call up Mugsy and the guys or those guys who knocked off Tupac and Biggie and send them over there and kill that hispanic plague on the world.

Okay, I made up the last paragraph but everything before the last paragraph is truly attributable to Pat Robertson.

This raises some interesting questions.

First, does Pat's point make any sense, and wtf does he intend to accomplish with this nonsense even higher gas prices?

Second, doesn't this really do a great thing for the cause of Christ. We now advocate the killing of those who believe differently than we. If they are Muslim extremists are we "Christian" extremists if we behave like them?

Finally, I wish ol Pat would go back to what he does best---

Some one in Tulsa needs gall bladder surgery but its healed in Jesus' name.

Some on in Pasadena, California your eye is healed.

Somebody in Yazoo City Mississippi, your finances are going to be fixed..

Dang it...my visions...are gettin all crazy..

I see some one in Chicago---Fall, Spring, Winter no--Summer, she hurt her knee...but the Lord will heal it..

I see a minister in Oakland...well not really a minister b/c he's gay...he is going to ..form a church that will get on my last nerve in the nations capital...We may have to take him out.

oh...there's a fur wearing ghetto child oh...she's got problems keeping her Midlife mouth in check...God's going to fix that.

Oh...there's this guy...Taylor..always having thoughts of black men..no thinking for black men....Oh hell, what's wrong with me...I see....I see..

Al and Star Jones Reynolds on the Sunday Sizzle

2005-08-20T20:42:00.000-07:00

We are happy to welcome one of television's brightest stars a woman who loves cheap and expensive shoes and her happy hetero husband Mrs. Star Jones Reynolds.

HG: Welcome to the Sunday Sizzle.

SJR: Thanks for having me.

HG: Those shoes don't look like payless to me.

SJR: These are not but rest assured I have some I wear around the house.

HG: Star we're happy to have you hear this morning but what's up.

SJR: (Shedding crocodile tears) Well, to be truthful I'm hurt. I am under attack by certain members of the media. When I was fat, they talked about me. When I did not have a man, they talked me. Now I've slimmed down and these same slime buckets still talking about. I get a wonderful proposal on national television and I have a beautiful wedding and these same sewer dwelling rats say my MAN is gay.

HG: Yeah, that sounds rough.

SJR: But I am a personality so I go with the flow but just like I buy and trash wigs if these m/f's don't get the f**k outta my bizness, I'm gonna have to cut a b**ch or two.

HG: Star calm down baby, it's gonna be alright.

SJR: Naw you don't understand, these clowns make fun of everything I do. I feel betrayed and the only thing I have to console are my adoring fans. They write me all the time, asking me to make their wishes come true. Last year I gave all of my audience cars, Tom Cruise jumped on my couch, they read whatever I tell them, our summer of Faulkner was great and in spite of all of my haters I am still fabulous.

HG: Star, honey, you did not give away cars, Tom Cruise did not jump on your sofa and you don't have a damn book club. Quit trying to be Oprah.

SJR: Halle Berry starred in my made for television movie. What the hell you mean, I 'm not Oprah, YES I AM!

HG: Star. Quit it now. Oh here's Al. Welcome to the sizzle Al.

AR: Thanks man. C'mon baby it's allright. (Star clutches Al tightly) That mean ole Oprah ghost is gone. America, do you see what you are doing to the lady in my life? I want her to stay with me. She is the lady in my life. Star is a brilliant attorney, talk show host and Nubian Princess. Why can't y'all just leave her alone. and leave me alone too.

HG: Does this happen often? This channeling into Oprah thing?

SJR: Miz Celie you tell Harpo to Beat Me? I should have won that damn Oscar.

AR: Lately pretty often, she also does Meredith, Joy, and Barbara Walters. Last night she was Halle Berry in the rape scene from Monster's Ball. She was good.

HG: Wow. How do you get back to reality?

AR: Every night I have to say Star, Lay Back In My Tenderness Let's Make This A Night We Won't Forget. Girl, I Need Your Sweet Caress, Reach Out To A Fantasy Two Hearts In The Beat Of Ecstasy, Come To Me, And I Will Keep You Warm Through The Shadows Of The Night, Let Me Touch You With My Love I Can Make You Feel So Right And Baby Through The Years Even When We're Old And Gray I Will Love You More Each Day 'Cause You Will Always Be The Lady In My Life.

SJR: All y'all abstaining cuz you ain't got nuthin, y'all hear that.

HG: Since you opened that door, Al let's talk about the rumors about your sexuality. Why does everyone question your heterosexuality?

AR: Gibbs it is like this life has a lot of problems and one morning in New York As I, Turn Up The Collar On My Favorite Winter Coat This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
You know, I See The Kids In The Street, With Not Enough To Eat Who Am I, To Be Blind? Pretending Not To See Their Needs A Summer's Disregard, A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul They Follow Each Other On The Wind Ya' Know 'Cause They Got Nowhere To Go That's Why I Want You To Know (Rising from the interview sofa, striking a pose and grabbing his crotch)

HG: (music building in the background) Al, what do you think you are doing...Y'all need some serious help.

AR: (singing) I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place

SJR: (singing background) (If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place)

AR: (singing) Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change

SJR: (background singing) (Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change)

SJR & AR: (Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,Na Nah)

SJR: See Gibbs, me and Al we thinking about being the black version of Sonny and Cher, Peaches and Herb, Marvin and Tammy, Donny and Marie.

HG: Peaches and Herb and Marvin and Tammy were black.

SJR & AR: (ignoring Gibbs) (Star slinging back the weave ala Cher and singing) Babe, I got you Babe, I got you babe

HG: Hell to the Naw fo real.

Forget the Former--Move On

2005-08-18T22:27:00.000-07:00

It has been said by men and women on the right and on the left that we (Black people) protest too much about too little and our causes are a reflection of the impotence of black people in dealing with the real issues of life.

And most of the time I say AMEN. However, there is also some power in standing for or against those less than front burner items. One reason to continue to resist loudly and proudly against the flying of the Confederate Flag in public places is because while it may be a part of their history it also serves as a reminder that they intended to keep folk like me in eternal bondage, and it offends my sensibilities as a human and and as a citizen.

Does standing against this icon of a mythic south reduce unemployment, no. Does it increase the availablity of social services no. Does it insure that Black children are not left behind not hardly.

So why shouldn't we just give up and let the proponents of Southern heritage have it their way?

First, giving up on that would lead to giving up on a lot of other issues that are more important. Sometimes these little fights help us to remember the broader issues that affect our every day lives. They remind us that the playing field is far from level and since nobody wants to apologize, damnit, we cannot sit idly by and watch a symbol of oppression fly and not raise our voices in protest.

Second, we want America to move away from the relics of a past that denied our humanity, we cannot allow this country to get caught up in a wistful nostalgia that ignores the oppression endured by our ancestors.

Finally, these fights can and must be used to mobilize us to look ahead to start to drive the agenda instead of the agenda driving us.

The Sunday Sizzle

2005-08-14T17:12:00.000-07:00

Recently Terry McMillan dropped by to chat about her new book the Interruption of Everything.

HG: Terry good to see you again.

TM Gibbs it is always a pleasure to drop in.

HG: New book messed up life. How do you do it?

TM: Well, it helps with book sales. (Laughing)

HG: I bet. I mean come on Terry if Stella's groove did not have a desire for Steve, this new book would die in the water. I mean come on another tale of the dilemma of midlife: an empty nest. Hormones gone wild. Too many irrelevant demands and too little room to breathe. Not much different than Stella although it seems you been influenced by that tall drag queen Tyler Perry with some of these characters.

TM: Tyler Perry is gay and I don't like gay people. My husband just found out he was gay. And I have problems with people who are gay. Gibbs what's up with you I guess you did not like the book. But since you gave hate I must reciprocate. You are probably gay like Winston I mean Jonathan.

HG: No, Hell--(repressing the spirit of Whitney) not at all, but I find it profounding mind numbing that you would put personal hurt on the front page of the newspaper to try to move a dull book. I mean come on Terry the beauty shop set is going to read it anyway. Good, bad or indifferent.

TM: Gibbs, you are usually more gracious but look you are probably an unemployed (Disappering Acts), if not also a philandering (Waiting to Exhale) black man, I got a lifestyle to maintain. My readers need to know that you can be 50 and fabulous (A Day Late and a Dollar Short). They need to know that a lil weave, a lil weight loss and some fabulous makeup will make you desireable. They are women who have accomplished things but I am stuck in that trap.

HG: What trap.

TM: That every woman needs a man to have true worth and true joy.

HG: So how does this personal mess with Winston I mean Jonathan help the book sell more copies.

TM: Well, they will buy this book thinking (cause you know black folks don't read book reviews) that I spill the juice in this book. But no. It's coming in the next book. And by the way, they don't know that just like you buy a dress and wear it to the club and return it the next day, they don't know you can return a book. So they get my latest work, I get my royalties. And trust me this story won't be over until How Stella's Groove went Gay comes out next year. I know my readers and what they want, I have come a long way since "Mama"

HG: Well Terry thanks for keeping it real.

TM: Stay Straight Gibbs.

HG: Do the same Terry do the same.

My Favorite Crackhead

2005-08-12T06:17:00.000-07:00

The title is ugly. But in many ways this person I tops my list of crack addicted persons I have known. And for some odd reason I have known more than my share.

Cleza is an admitted crack addict. She is also the mother of two adopted children (yes the state actually allowed this woman to adopt), she's a heterosexual so it's all right.

Cleza has problems maintaining housing. Something about paying rent when crack calls is problematic for her. Cleza used to have a pretty responsible job, she used to be head of her church auxillary. She used to have a husband. She used to have electricity and she even used to have a car.

Cleza is the product of the most dysfunctional family in the world. The father hates and I do mean hates all of his children. The mother is an emotional wreck. The daughters are on crack or crazy and the sons are in jail, on crack, but reproduce like rabbits.

Cleza's children are the products of one her brother's fruitfulness. She got the children because her brother and the mother of the children were criminal crackheads. opps I mean addicts.

Yet despite all of this Cleza is a funny woman. Who else could say I do crack just a lil bit. I am going to ease up on the crack. Who else at 40 plus could get excited at the prospect of having a 24 year old who had been in prison for 10 years.

This chick, I mean woman is a piece of work.

She is too complex to describe, yet in her own community, in her own circle, everybody knows her, and in their own way they love her. Her church family such as it is, won't loan her money, won't turn on her lights, but they love her. They love the children and they give them a sense of humanity because despite all that they are and are not they are in the family of God.

It is the love of these church members, (who ain't always nice) that reminds me that God truly has his eye on the sparrow.

Today Cleza is going to get her lights back on and I'm glad about that.

Just Say Yes

2005-08-09T11:30:00.000-07:00

I love the church very, very much and I love church people quite a bit. But sometimes church folk get on my nerves.

Why?

Because alot of them have become Crusty Christians.

You know what happens when things get real stale or the skin gets real dry on your head it becomes kinda crusty.

They have become crusty because many of them have become experts at pointing out why they or we can't do something.

Don't ask us, we can't do it.

Don't think about looking over here, go ax so and so or brother whatchamacallit.

Where is the spirit of love and cooperation.

Gone like that manna from heaven.

Well go ahead be crusty, just don't flake on me.

Welcome to the Sunday Sizzle

2005-08-07T12:11:00.000-07:00

In deference to those great bloggers such as the renown queen of Chicago the one and only Summer M. I have been called by the great guru of blog to launch a new sunday tabloid blog called Sunday Sizzle.

This new blog is being offered to set the record straight.

Our first story deals with a woman who is near and dear to my heart. Ever since I first heard Saving all My Love for You I have been madly enamored with her talent.

Yes I am speaking of none other than Ms. Whitney Houston-Brown. Ms. Whitney as I love to call her gave me an exclusive interview this past week and during our talk she said that the Being Bobby Brown television show that is so wildly popular on Bravo is not a reality show but a scripted television program in the spirit of Fat Actress and The Comeback.

Ms. Whitney tells me that of course she is not nearly as ghetto as the show implies. She would never utter a term like the infamous "Hell to the Naw" unless it had been scripted.

"People are forgetting that I have made several major motion pictures." said the lovely Ms. Whitney. "I am a musician and an an actress but above all I am a personality." She did admit that some of Mr. Brown's legal problems are at the root of this program.

"Bravo said that they would pay Bobby for acting in his environment. At first I was like hell to the naw, oops I mean no way but when I figured how many blunts, I mean how many rocks, I mean how many stocks we could purchase I guess I said deal."

According to Ms. Whitney the people at Bravo tried to stage a number of ghetto fabulous numbers for the Brown family and according to the audience reaction its a hit.

"Bobby has needed a hit for a long time. I thought I was going to lose my mind if he tried to sing that damn roni song again." But I interjected, Ms. Whitney a few of my colleagues have condemned your choice of hair piece and wardrobe on the show.

"Those are jealous bitches, this is my hair. Damnit. It's all mine. It's on my Visa Bill now."

I asked Ms. Whitney about her reported drug use.

Now Gibson, why would I Whitney Houston do drugs. I am beautiful and rich. It was not an act when I said crack is whack. Now I must leave because I have to get in character to verbally duke it out with that closet dyke Wendy Williams.

"Well have a good time" "Just shut your mouth and remember whitney houston does not due crack because crack is whack.

Thank you Ms. Whitney

Anything Baby

The Brethren

2005-08-06T07:33:00.000-07:00

No this is not a post about the black church. This is a post about another one of John Grisham's formula books which I do not read but they are great company for long car trips.

The Brethren is a little different, there is no court room, there are judges but no jury. As always big brother is watching and watching. But this book was written pre 9/11/01 and it is really prophetic.

It certainly provides fodder to those who believe the Iraqi conflict was contrived to insure Bush's re-election. It certainly supports the notion that Michael Moore raised in his movie that Osama will not be found because we don't really want to find him.

It was not a clean book. Everybody got what they wanted but nobody ended up truly happy and the guilty did not suffer for their sins which disappointed me a lot.

But the what really kept me engrossed for the 6 hours that listened to the book was the fact that collateral damage is viewed as the cost of doing business when America feels under attack.

It was true in the bombing of Japan (Oh well 145000 civilian lives lost--they shouldn't have bombed us)

It was true in Korea, Vietnam and Greneda (We were freeing these people from ideologies we detest, it was for their good.)

It was true in Desert Storm (So what if our smart bombs ain't so smart)

It was true in Afghanistan (We freed the women from the tryanny of the Taliban and we shut down Al-Queda)(yeah right)

and it remains true in Iraq (The Iraqi people are now free! Yippee!)

I Miss My Friend

2005-07-31T17:55:00.000-07:00

One of the most difficult things about being a man is the fact that you usually have few true intimate friends. We have boys, and partners and fellas, but I think everyone needs that one true friend.

That one person who you can be less than perfect around and its alright. No its not like having a spouse, sexual issues complicate matters and radically change the complexion of a relationship. I am talking about that person usually same gender who loves you (platonically) just because you are you.

I guess men who are close to their brothers understand this. But my friend is a guy who I met in college and over the last many years we have always kept in touch. I don't know but I guess things are changing, we don't talk like we used to, he doesn't fly in or hang with the kids anymore. (I know this sounds weird, but I miss my friend)

He was always hard to catch up with, maybe just maybe I will call him to see what's up.

He is a real blessing in my life, and although I could never say anything like that to him, I thank God for he has helped me through many a difficulty. Judgment free.

Hey Jimmie--holla man.

Maybe it's just me...

2005-07-25T04:19:00.000-07:00

But I don't get Republican Party politics. In most if not all states they proclaim to be pro-life, yet in Missouri and others they are spearheading an effort to reduce benefits to low income women or to defer costs to unwed dads.

One Missouri legislator noted that people have come to see medical care as an entitlement. After all if you don't pay your electric bill they cut you off, then why should someone think healthcare should be free?

Wow. I need some help in understanding this kind of logic. If I am a member of the party in most cases, I could not support a woman's right to choose an abortion and now I must support an effort that would disuade most women from identifying the paternity of their children less the unwed father be saddled with debt that he cannot afford.

So much for family values. In many ways I do understand the goals of the legislation which is to reduce the states Medicaid burden, but what's more important in the long run, families where the dad is more than a check or families where parenthood is considered an important and tangible part of the child's life?

I recently read where this same state (Missouri) has eliminated benefits for a paralyzed man and his blind wife stating that they need to find jobs with health care coverage. Maybe it's just me but this doesn't make much sense.

Fake Phone Call--Whitney Houston

2005-07-24T04:09:00.000-07:00

Hello.

Harold this is Whitney. What's goin on?

Whitney who?

Aw hell to the naw. This is Whitney Houston don't play like you don't remember me.

The singer?

Who the f**k else?

Wow.

Hell yeah it's a wow for you.

I mean what can I do for you?

Nothing. Bobby handles everything.

So why did you call?

Aren't you a pastor?

No, I am a counselor.

I want to give my life back to Jesus.

Cool do that and go to church

Damnit Bobbi Kristina just ate a whole dozen Krispy Kremes.

"Girl, says Whitney, your ass is going to fat as hell."

"Bobby says Whitney I am talking to the pastor come and get u some prayer."

I am not a pastor I am a counselor.

"I don't need prayer, I ain't back in jail--yet."

What the hell says Whitney. I didn't need you after all.

Good bye

What Now

2005-07-13T16:43:00.000-07:00

Today at my job a man was fired. A manager was fired.

This man had been on the job for 30 years and this morning he was dumped like a turd a messy turd into the toilet and flushed away quickly before the fumes kill you.

30 years and now no job. What the --.

When I heard the news, Whitney rose up and possessed me and I found myself saying Hell to the naw.

Of course there is no official word on what or why but "hell to the naw" how could 30 years disappear in a vapor no gold watch, no tribute no nothing.

Damn imagine going home to say honey guess what, "I'm unemployed."

Bitter or Better?

2005-07-11T13:56:00.000-07:00

For most of the 15th chapter of Exodus we find Moses and the Israelites, having a hearty praise party in honor of what Yawheh has done at the Red Sea. That party goes on for the first 21 verses. Yet in verse 22 things change and by verse 24 the complaints are in full effect.

The problem they were complaining about had to be small compared to parting a sea, yet the people complained. I don't think people have changed much here in the 21st century. So when are we going to stop acting bitter every time there is a bump in our road and start acting better knowing that the same force that parted the Red seas of our lives can handle a cold sore?

Help a brother understand.

London

2005-07-08T03:52:00.000-07:00

The news of the bombings in London on Thursday reminded me of those scriptures that continually warn us that life as we know it is just a vapor, a mist, that lasts for just a moment.

Truly it is not how long we hang around, but what we do while we around that is important.

Nobody should die just because they were going to work.

My heartfelt condolences to all of the families affected by the bombings.

Luther Vandross--The King of Gentleman Soul

2005-07-05T05:36:00.000-07:00

Long live Luther.

I was slightly taken aback at the death of Luther Vandross. It knocked me down a bit because Luther has been my background music for much of my adult life.

I loved his music when he was heavy and I love his music when he was slim and all of the weight swings in between.

What I will always love about Luther is the way he honored the women who influenced his musical stylings. He always treated their work with the greatest respect that showed a real love for the music and their work. Luther Vandross was the king of gentleman soul, he never degraded or villified women instead he put them on a pedestal.

Luther's music also had a spiritual twinge for me that often surpassed the sensual. His So Amazing reminded me of God's precious and overwhelming love for me in spite of my manifold sins and weaknesses. His Here and Now (a wonderful wedding song) also had a way of turning my thoughts to the goodness of God and his love.

Luther as you dance with your father, I give praise to the Father for endowing you with a wonderful gift, I give honor to the Father for allowing Roberta Flack to compel you to use your gift and give thanks to the Father for allowing me to be touched over and over again by the beauty of your music.

AMEN.

Not in My Neighborhood

2005-07-01T06:18:00.000-07:00

Happy Independence Day Weekend Everybody!

I find it interesting that as I start my celebration of American freedom and patriotism I am reminded that not all of us are as free as we ought to be.

ABC just scrubbed a new reality series were a group of white homeowners were given the task of deciding who gets to live next door to them. What the fuss?

The contestants were a diversity goulash including a gay white couple with a black child, a wiccan family, a hispanic family with a lot of children, a religous black family, a white family with a secret and a white family that goes right and tats all over.

The White couples could decide to vote someone off because of their religion, ethnicity etc. Why? Because this is television and everybody on television is white unless its Jerry Springer and on the UPN.

ABC forgot one thing we have these pesky laws, about fair housing that prohibits discrimination based on thinks like ethnicity. It eliminated restrictive racial covenants that sort of stuff.

Exciting reality television. Damn I am beginning to think Bamboozled ain't so far fetched.

"I, too am America." wrote Langston Hughes a complex tour de force of talent and angst.

"I'm not convinced." wrote Harold Gibson, a simple man who still don't get it.

The next thing I read was from my favorite city that I never want to live in--NYC. Thugs beat up on thugs and now its a hate crime.

Some white thugs beat up on some black thugs who were trying to find a car to steal. The black men are crying "we got rights!" The white men are crying "what were they doing here at 3 am?"

I have had my car stolen twice from in front of churches by black males so I have no real love for car theives. I also believe that I should be able to go where I want to go. But I also believe that you don't have any business in my subdivision at 3 am if you don't live here or know somebody in here. I don't espouse vigilante violence at all but damn it, dickheads that get their asses beaten on a "let's steal some cars adventure" ain't worthy of my racial angst.

Having said that and because I be one of them conflicted Christians, I am praying for the recovery of the man who got his head bashed. I hope he learns a lesson.

One of the cries of the black victims is that we can go where we want to go.

Go ahead and roll over in your graves, you civil rights martyrs. Go ahead and do some flips all you folks who felt water hoses, mad dogs and constant danger.

We are some real fussed up people if we think the movement was about gaining unlimited access to case joints to steal automobiles.

Marvin I need ya man to tell me "What's Goin On."

Happy 4th of July--in Amerika.

Marriage is not Easy, Break ups are not Pretty

2005-06-29T06:25:00.000-07:00

Terry McMillian, one of the most profilic African American writers on the last 20 years is divorcing the man who in many ways cemented her celebrity. Somehow after the showers and the hot sex, the boy toy from the islands has turned out to be SGL.

Reality really bites sometimes.

Now I must admit I do not like McMillian's work. I find them to be shallow and overly melodramatic. But they are entertaining to listen to on tape because she is a good reader and she uses good readers. My eyes rarely see her stuff.

I must further admit that while I have never seen "Waiting to Exhale" in its entirety, I loved the idea of the movie, and I loved how the four women looked on film. (Thank you Forrest Whittaker) How Stella Got her Groove Back...never phased me much probably because I am not convinced that June and January matches are optimal. But as is the case with most of life, I believe in live and let live.

What's frightening and particularly ugly about this case is that Mr. Plummer just recently discovered he was gay. Hmmmm I hope someone can explain that to me. And then J L King, had to dump his two cents in on this as it further exploits his downlow theory.

Well fans of McMillian I feel a book coming on, and this one will be a blockbuster, my car CD is anxiously awaiting the release.

Damn It's Hard Being Black.

2005-06-23T04:45:00.000-07:00

Oprah Winfrey, one of the wealthiest women in the world, host of a long running daytime television talk show, on the cover of a magazine every month and one of the most recognizable faces in the world was denied entry to a posh Paris boutique.

Why? The store reported it was having problems with North Africans. In other words, they treated Oprah like a negro. I am humored by this tidbit and I am angered at the same time.

Could it be that some trailer park princess could get better service because of her skin hue than one of richest women in the world?

One of my favorite bloggers summer m. recently listed her ugly light skinned people and it was mad funny but after reading this I wonder if we will ever overcome this race thing.

Damn, Oprah can't spend thousands on a handbag and I'm upset. What is up with this?

Interesting Things Black People Do

2005-06-21T05:35:00.000-07:00

My Daughter is Possessed

A woman called me last night.

"Gibs, my daughter is reprobate."

"What?"

"My daughter is the walking biblical definition for reprobate, there is nothing she won't do to torment me."

"Wow."

"Did you ever see the movie "The Exorcist?"

"No, I don't like horror flicks."

"My child is Regan."

"How old is your child again?"

"She's 41."

"She ain't no child, she is a grown ass bout to be old ass woman."

(Laughing) "You right about that. Do you know what that heifer did? She took to the house of the woman my husband was supposed to be having an affair with? Can you imagine a daughter doing that to her mother?"

"June, you were ranting about that crap for months, you probably got on her nerves and she wanted you to do something about it or shut up. I almost did the same thing."

"No it's worse than that. She is trying to destroy me. You know I have bleeding in the brain, diabetes, high blood pressure, and now my knee is acting up. I'm going to have gastric by pass surgery to help me lose some of this fat. She is killing me."

"Look, June, let her go. She is 41 not 14 and she has had two children and those negroes are almost grown. You want to be healed, turn her over to Jesus and stop worrying about her."

"She don't want Jesus in her life. In fact I was trying to pray with her and she said 'Fuck that shit.' I almost shot that heifer, talkin bout my Jesus."

"Jesus ain't worried bout your daughter talkin' bout him. Girl, don't you believe that God is almighty?"

"Yeah but--"

"Nothing. You always saying you like the woman with the issue of blood, well touch the hem, damnit. we been waiting to see if you can be made whole."

"Gibs, you don't have a lot of compassion."

"See, Junie, you need tough love. So does you daughter now I gotta bounce I want to watch my fourth episode of Law and Order on TNT. See Ya."

My Father Abandoned Us--A Father's Day
Tribute

On Sunday our Pastor, allowed the church school children to give gifts to all the dads in the congregation and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. But then to my horror He gets up and said. Oh I forgot, we need to share tributes to Father. Anybody want to share a tribute to dad?

"Reverend, I would like to have some words."

The Pastor looked a deer caught in the headlights.

"Oh of course Sister Tracy. Please share."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I screamed silently.

"Thank you Reverend. My Father abandoned us when we were little. And because he died before I was 11. And his leaving left us on public aid. But we would see him from time to time, going in and out of other women's houses and playing with other women's children. But he was okay with us because at Christmas time he always sent us a box. In the box were apples and oranges and used socks and panties from the Goodwill. But he was our father and he lived a difficult life like many black men."

"Thank you Sister Tracy."

Every year she gives that same damn tribute and she really brings the day down.

"On that note, let's hear from the choir."

Amazing Grace

2005-06-17T05:30:00.000-07:00

Ain't God All Right

Ramblings...

I am much too old to be a blogger. My life is much too drab to talk about. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I've been married to one woman for a wonderfully long time and she is the mother of ALL of my children. Thus I know, love and like my children.

God has been good and I need to be better.

I was reflecting with an associate that gospel music is truly going old skool. Everybody is singing old skool these days. In my opinion the best stuff on Donnie McClurkin's new CD are the old church medleys.

I guess it goes to show that the stuff written to honor God is the stuff that lasts.

I am also praying this morning for the unborn progeny of woman who is living via artificial means. She is dying of cancer that is virtually growing in her body as the child grows in her womb.

The race between time and cancer has me praying for the family who is hoping that the cancer does not penetrate the placenta and consume the child.

"My hope is built on nothing less...than Jesus' blood and righteousness"

I am praying for an 81 year old man whose grief at the sudden death of his 40 something daughter trigger a massive stroke. Last night in the ICU, I held his hand and he held mine tight

"I dare not trust the sweet frame but wholly lean on Jesus name."

I am praying for a 50 something woman who went in the hospital to have her bladder removed, and ended up wearing not one bag but two. Everything that could go wrong short of cardiac arrest and death, has befallen this woman. Yet through it all she has trusted in God. She asked why and then said it does not matter God is still good. On Thursday the doctors operated to reconnect her intestinal function so she will live with the one bag. Her surgery went well, now we are praying for her post op recovery.

"On Christ the solid rock I stand, All other ground is sinking sand."

Sunday is Father's Day and although my Father is not one of favorite people. He taught me everything not to do. My wife, my children and I are grateful for the lessons.

"All other ground is sinking sand."

Black Defendants 2 Clarence Thomas 0

2005-06-13T20:18:00.000-07:00

In two separate cases the Supreme Court overturned the conviction of Black defendants convicted by all white juries in cases where Blacks were summarily dismissed during jury selection.

The interesting thing about these cases is that in the Texas case an inmate facing execution had his conviction overturned in 6-3 decision with Scalia, Rehinquest and Negro Tommy in dissent.

The other case was a California case where all the justices except for Negro Tommy were overwhelming convinced that California's rules for determining jury bias were too strict.

On another issue

I watched Nancy Grace or something like that on CNN tonight. Is this chick for real. She acted like a fool on television after the Jackson verdict. What is up with her?

People Who Need People on the Down low

2005-06-13T04:54:00.000-07:00

I have some real issues with the terms people have for themselves and each other. And I guess my biggest problem is with the term dl or down low or on the low.

I betcha got a chick on the side, sure you got a chick I know you got a chick on the side.

First, everybody acts as if this is some great revelation. Negroes please. People have been keeping certain things close for a long time. There is a man I know who has buried two wives. He has something like 12 children. He is in his 90's now. But each time a wife has died his children have met new siblings.

The first wife died in his 40's and when she died it was revealed that he had been in a continuing relationship with another woman for the past 14 years and there was a daughter born to the union who had known her daddy all of those years. She was also told that she could not reveal who her daddy was. So Pops knew, the woman knew, the kid knew and from all reports, the wife never knew. Everybody had an agreement and it worked for them.

I betcha got a chick on the side, sure you got a chick I know you got a chick on the side.

The children of the wife were at first shocked then they accepted it, because what else could they do?

He later remarried and had a new family with the second wife. Low and behold when she died history repeated itself. 45 years after the first revelation Pops had done it again. What is amazing is that Pops does not live in a major metro area. He lives in a small city of maybe 150,000 where most of the blacks know each other or of each other. In fact Pops never lived more than 10 minutes from other woman 1 or other woman 2.

I betcha got a chick on the side, sure you got a chick I know you got a chick on the side.

I heard some family members become quite critical when it was revealed that Pops had done it again, after all he is a deacon in the church. He was the first one to rail against Pastors with roving eyes, and voted to keep unwed mothers from singing in the choir or ushering while they were pregnant.

The family members accused Pops of being a hypocrite and of being whorish. Others said that Pops was just living biblically. He had a wife and a concubine. What's wrong with that?

I know that this dl fever is mostly directed at Men who have sex with Men (MSM) but straight men know and play this game with verve and panache.

And they secretly thank God for J L King because he took the pressure off and the tradition continues.

The question remains was this a bad thing Pops did? Did anybody get hurt?

Bad who knows? Pops was a horrible father to all his children. He worked hard to support these multiple families so he spent no time with any of them and he is surprised at 90 plus they have no fond childhood memories of him. The children to some men of his generation where the concern of women and his relationship with his adult children reflects that dynamic. They all talk about their late mothers and only talk about the rampages of Pops.

Did anyone get hurt? I don't know.

I betcha got a chick on the side, sure you got a chick I know you got a chick on the side.

Playing Tag with Summer M.

2005-06-12T12:01:00.000-07:00

Total Number of Cd's I own: The exact number is undetermined. However I know it is atleast 250 because I have two one hundred cd cases full to over flowing and I have a shoebox full of stuff. And since I am so old I also remember at one time owning 876 albums. The only reason I don't still have them is because they cost too much to move.

The CD or album I bought: Actually there are two. Kurt Carr's One Church and Donnie McClurkin's Praise Hymns and Spirtual Songs and both are still wrapped.

Last CD or album I listened to: Musically one of my Home by Stephanie Mills. I also listen to CD's on Audio Disc. I just finished two. The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom: I am glad I did not invest myself in reading this book. It wasn't bad or good just unnecessarily bland and for me it lacked any thing that was meaningful to me. The concept was interesting and a lot of people talked about it.
The second was Fear Itself by Walter Moseley, since I never have time or make time to read novels, this is how I get them into me. I was driving with my daughter to college and it was a great way to spend six hours. This was not Moseley's best and it was somewhat predictable and far-fetched but it was fun to listen and Don Cheadle did a great job.

Currently listening to: Gotta Have Gospeel! (Part One) I love gospel music!

lyrics or beats? I am an old school guy for real its lyrics.

First album you fell in love with?There are two. Diana Ross and the Supremes Greatest Hits and Aretha Franklin's Amazing Grace. Those two Dee-troit divas just rock for me. And if you ever wanted missed church, Amazing Grace was the album to remind you just how much you missed. Working with James Cleveland and that Southern California Community Choir dressed in African attire on the jacket, Aretha reminded us of those things that brought us through and brought us as an oppressed people over.

Diana and the Supremes exemplified a different side of the hopefulness in some black people in the sixties which included inclusion. The music was inclusive and it the only people it left out were those who could not fathom the fickleness of love.

I love Detroit.

Album with the Greatest Impact: No question Stevie Wonder's Songs in the Key of Life. From top to bottom this was a classic album and in it Stevie broke every barrier and every rule and in many ways paved the way for another important album for its musical impact Michael Jackson's Thriller. And for defining the diva, Patti LaBelle's If Only You Knew, gave the diva name power and grace at the same time.

Favorite Album: I really don't have a favorite album. I love a couple of songs so much that they never leave me. First, Home by Stephanie Mills, Mary Don't You Weep by Take Six. If I had to choose an album it would a two record set by Al Jarreau Look to the Rainbow. Another favorite single. And I am Telling You I'm Not Going by Jennifer Holiday. These were singer's albums.

Damn this is hard work.

Most listened to album: Wilmington Chester Mass Choir He Shepards Me. It is my faith story every song means something to me. I won't turn back is my favorite.

sexiest album Marvin Gaye's Midnight Love and I Want You.

biggest disappointment Whitney Houston. Whatever happened to the beautiful song bird that made sappy crap sound good. The diva who reworked Dolly Parton's song and killed America and made them act cool with an interracial love story?

five albums that mean the most to you: In David Letterman Order.

#5 India.arie Voyage to India Simply beautiful.

#4 Al Jarreau Look to the Rainbow

#3 Earth Wind and Fire That's the way of the World

#2 Luther Vandross The Night I Fell In Love

#1 Anita Baker My Everything. This sista has staying power. She did not release new stuff for TEN YEARS and was still able to fit right back in her niche.

Honorable Mention Aretha Franklin's Jump To It. (Another great comback LP)

That was fun.

Some Christians Get on My Nerves

2005-06-06T18:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, enough is enough, today Texas Governor Perry signed a restrictive abortion measure today. That is not what is upsetting me. I am pro-life but since I have no intention of adopting or raising anybody's baby, I am pro-choice, because people have to do what they have to do. If God is upset, I trust God to handle God's business.

What has me mad is that he signed the bill in gymnasium of a Christian high school. What kind of mealy mouth pandering is that. The Christians ought to be up in arms that a governor of a state would come into their no-choice arena and sign a bill that still allows abortion of any kind. I mean if you are going to be no-choice do not compromise. This Republican pandering to the right wing evangelical movement is dangerous because it runs the risk of affecting the separation between church and state and this is a battle the church might lose.

I am not opposed to Christians being involved in politics. For years Christians have been leaders in the fight to eradicate social injustices. But this bill should have been signed in the governor's office or on secular ground. The good Christians who supported this mess could have moseyed up with governor right there. To bring this bill to the Church is a travesty to all Texans, Christians and otherwise.

Why am I so upset by this bill? Because it now imposes parental consent on girls who were grown enough to give up the poon-tang to boys old enough to produce seed without mama and daddy's permission and now it takes the pressure off little hot mama and her baby daddy and puts the pressure on Mom and Pop.

Damn, if my little hotass tramp daughter (Okay I know that is a bit rough okay my no thinking no protecting little heifer gives it up and gets strung, she got herself in so she should be the one responsible for making the decision to get out of it.

Doggone it, I am sick of parents getting blamed when their almost grown ass children do stupid feces. And now I am sick of the government telling me I got to decide if my daughter gets an abortion. Oh wait a minute, I don't live in Texas. Thank you Lord, I know there must be a God somewhere.

What I like about Love

2005-06-02T20:32:00.000-07:00

Love is weird, kinda squishy often hard.
Love is simple, but simple ain't always easy
Love makes some folks really queasy.
Love makes me wanna walk and shout and dance all at the same time.

I love complicated stuff. Because I am complicated. I can be nice and I can be nasty and I can talk trash and be really sentimental.

I am in love, with the idea of love. Wait I know I need to make up my mind. But I think I have it all figured out.

I am in love with Condoleeza Rice. I wonder if she ever asked her mama why?

Condi is sexy woman, it must be the power. She has replaced Pam Grier
As the ultimate female fantasy. Well maybe a morphed Condi with Pam's bust.

Langston was right

Love was like a dream until I woke
Now that I am broke.

The White Man Who Loved Black Women

2005-06-02T08:23:00.000-07:00

Recently in the St. Louis metro east suburb of Belleville, Il a white man and his black female lover were slain allegedly by her husband.

The deceased man was a man who loved black women. All of his life he desired black women. Ugly black women, fat black women, skinny black women, beautiful black women. Black women with nappy hair and black women with weaves. A couple of times he even fell for black drag queens by accident he claims.

But his true penchant was for black married women. Why? Who the hell knows. But he loved his black women married especially to black men.

He died when the killer stabbed him and his married woman in her apartment. His daddy an almost racist, said I knew messing with nig--I mean blacks would kill him.

When he died he had one of the weird funerals. His funeral was in a white funeral home, and the eulogist was you guessed it a Black woman. His pastor from the yes right again, The Colored Methodist Episcopal Church (okay I know they is Christian now but they started off Colored)

The preacher said the dead man was a unique individual. He was a drug addict, a sex addict, but he was loved by God. (Okay she did not say it like that but that's what she meant)

Why don't I call his name. Well, I did for we never really called him by name, he was always the white boy who loved sistas. There was a great deal of affection for him. Because unlike some brothas he really loved his sistahs in any shape, size or hair texture.

RIP with a sistah if God knows the you, you were.

R. Kelly In the Closet Part Two

2005-05-30T07:55:00.000-07:00

I know I am late but when it comes to popular music that is my new thing, to be the last to hear something.

In Part 2 of the soap opera hip hop songfest Mr. Kelly reveals that husband has been cheating too.

Not only is the husband cheating, he is a pastor and he is on the DL.

Why did Kelly rip on the Pastors?

Is it because they got upset when the youth choir started singing I believe I can fly and Robert went back to sex singing?

Is it because they railed against him for having an alleged proclivity for pretty YOUNG things?

Well if I know Pastors, and I think I do, it's war now. And nothing is worse than a mad pastor. Just ask John Kerry. They don't fight fair. And R. Kelly is easy to attack, but hard to injure because this is one black man who does not give a damn what you think about him. (Just keep buying the music)

But you know and I know the Pastors are not an innocent bunch of choir boys and girls. First of all they probably deserve a little rip. They have been ripping at gay men for years while paying them to play those riffs on the organ. They have used homosexuality as that sin that we can all look down upon because it does not apply to us. It has been a feel good sin for far too long.

Yet a part of me is saddened by this turn of events. What can we trust these days? Marriage is a joke, the church is being led by boy loving priests, philandering pastors and now men on the downlow. Oh where can I run?

I am not depressed at all about this I just wonder what's next?

Where is the safe space?

Do We Really Care What God Thinks?

2005-05-28T07:54:00.000-07:00

First of all let me confess. I am a Christian by faith and tradition. I belong to a church and I attend with an almost obessive regularity. I love the Black church and all that it embodies and I love the diversity of the church.

Yet in reading Bernard Bradshaw's Sex and the Second City Blog I was intrigued when he talked about his DL friends dissonance between his sexuality and his religious practice.

I was not surprised because by and large the Black church is DL. The Black church in general is not an open and affirming place for those who SGL. Yet as long as you don't tell everybody and make them give you an it's okay. They are will love you like a rock.

So I understand why Black gay Christians are so wacky. They want to be with God and they want to love God and they want to love the self God made them and they want the church because the church is home.

Yet the church says well you're okay if you deny this aspect of yourself. Which may sound harsh but it is so biblical. I do not believe the Bible does ambiguity very well. The rich characters of the Bible are either Good or Bad or Once Bad now Good or Once Good now Bad. There are very few characters that move back and forth.

And I believe we are so conflicted on all fronts because at our core we are like Thomas. Thomas was the disciple who had to see it for himself before he would believe.

Therefore even when we try to live by faith, we are often drawn to the tangible, because we taste, suck, fuck and otherwise hold the tangible. And it's not that we don't care what God thinks we just can't see God or touch God except in the most intangible of ways; by faith.

Do we care what God thinks? Yes and No. More to come.