Saturday, May 28, 2005

Do We Really Care What God Thinks?

First of all let me confess. I am a Christian by faith and tradition. I belong to a church and I attend with an almost obessive regularity. I love the Black church and all that it embodies and I love the diversity of the church.

Yet in reading Bernard Bradshaw's Sex and the Second City Blog I was intrigued when he talked about his DL friends dissonance between his sexuality and his religious practice.

I was not surprised because by and large the Black church is DL. The Black church in general is not an open and affirming place for those who SGL. Yet as long as you don't tell everybody and make them give you an it's okay. They are will love you like a rock.

So I understand why Black gay Christians are so wacky. They want to be with God and they want to love God and they want to love the self God made them and they want the church because the church is home.

Yet the church says well you're okay if you deny this aspect of yourself. Which may sound harsh but it is so biblical. I do not believe the Bible does ambiguity very well. The rich characters of the Bible are either Good or Bad or Once Bad now Good or Once Good now Bad. There are very few characters that move back and forth.

And I believe we are so conflicted on all fronts because at our core we are like Thomas. Thomas was the disciple who had to see it for himself before he would believe.

Therefore even when we try to live by faith, we are often drawn to the tangible, because we taste, suck, fuck and otherwise hold the tangible. And it's not that we don't care what God thinks we just can't see God or touch God except in the most intangible of ways; by faith.

Do we care what God thinks? Yes and No. More to come.

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