Fecal Mixers

Warning this post contains an extraordinary number of references to that most beloved word in our profane vernacular "s**t" Just be thankful that I am so unskilled that there will be no pictures to view.

This morning I want to launch an attack against a group of individuals who should be on somebody's hitlist.

I am talking about the notorious shit stirrers. Yeah, I said it.

These menaces to society are found everywhere. You got shit stirrers at home. They keep the family in an uproar, whenever there is a peaceful fun family gathering, they got to go remembering. You know, shit stirrers usually begin by saying "remember."

"Remember, when your sister slept with your boyfriend? That was something else."

"Remember when your husband was arrested for soliciting? Did he get some jail time?"

We hate these people because they just won't leave it alone.

They come to you at work, "Man, I can't believe what Jack just said about you, man, he is running your work down."

They come to you at church, "I can't believe how the pastor forgot to call your name, after all you were the assistant to the assistant corresponding secretary."

or "Girl, they ate everybody's green beans but yours, I don't think the kitchen committee likes you."

The problem with shit stirrers is most of the time these punks are smiling in your face all the time.

Undisputed Truth, and "you old as hell if you remember them" (a typical shit stirring remark) in their only hit sang Smiling faces show no traces of the evil that lurks within.

You got shit stirrers at the club, telling you what "somebody" said.

And that's my last point, who the hell is somebody?

If somebody got something to say to me, then let somebody be a man or a woman and tell me themselves.

But noooo- somebody has its own spokesperson

The shit stirrer.

The problem with shit stirring is that anyone can be a shit stirrer, there are casual shit stirrers, chronic shit stirrers and psychotic shit stirrers. There are sexual shit stirrers, and stupid shit stirrers. Shit Stirrers cross all socio-economic lines, they can be rich and poor, black or white, jew or gentile, protestant, catholic and agnostic. Shit stirrers are male and female, straight and gay, fat and skinny. Shit stirrers are punks, politicians, preachers and pundits.

I guarantee that in your circle of acquaintances you know some shit stirrers. You may be an occasional shit stirrer or some of you are serial shit stirrers.

I know some of you are in denial, but in the very breath you protest, you probably stir some shit by announcing that you are not like so-and-so.

And if you read blogs or especially if you write blogs, you know that bloggers are notorious for stirring all kinds of shit.

Now if you are a shit stirrer I have some help for you, "SSA."

You've heard of Overeaters Anonymous, and many of you have attended or need to attend "Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous" well I have found that Shit Stirrers have their own support group.

They will be meeting in your city soon. You know you need to be there. However if you show up, somebody will know and somebody will tell.

So remember the next time somebody says "Hi my name is Harold and it's nice to meet you." What they really are saying is

"Hi, my name is Harold and I am a shit stirrer."

Now go take a shower.