Can the Truth be a Lie?

I felt almost sorry for James Frey the other day. He was being pimp slapped by the America's big sister and sometimes glam mammy Oprah. But on the other hand I thought she needed to kick his ass for being the biggest liar this side of George W. Bush.

What got me in the snippets I watched is that he still could not come to grips that he lied and that his book is an interesting piece of fiction based in some part on the truth. Sorta like an episode of "Law and Order."

But maybe Frey is dealing with that difficult concept of "truth." People keep telling me there are three sides to every story your side, my side and the truth. What is the truth.

When a man tells a woman he loves her in order to help her decide to give him what he desires sex or money or companionship is he lying? Is it dishonest if someone wants something from someone to tell them what they want to hear?

After all if I want to have sex and I love sex, then am I lying if I tell a woman that I love her? After all she will be the source of my sex and I do love sex.

Is the Bible lying when it says if you have the faith the size of a mustard sea we could move mountains?

Damn, this is hard.

I know one thing, I ain't lying to Oprah she ain't gonna beat my ass on television like she did James Frey. She kicked his ass so thoroughly that I felt almost sorry for the lying jackass.

Oh by the way we all need to pray...here's the latest from my favorite crackhead.

Note to my readers: This is my recollection of an actual conversation. It has been edited for presentation in this space.

S: Gibby you won't believe this s**t. After all these years I am knocked up.

G: Damn that is so f**ked up.

S: What you mean?

G: I can imagine that the zygote/fetus/child growing in you is having a long sit down with the creator trying to figure out what he or she did wrong to warrant this punishment.

S: That was mean. I gave a damn about your opinion I would be crying. After all us pregnant women is sensitive.

G: So let me ask the question all America wants to know. How is sperm donor.

S: A good man with a good job and one who loves him some me.

G: Damn.

S: What??

G: You don't have a f**king clue do you?

S: Not really.