The Continuing Adventures of Ms. Sarah the Literal Serial Ho

Do you ever have days when you know that you should not answer the phone?
But you did not listen to the inner voice of wisdom and you picked up the phone and

G: Hello.

S: It's me Sarah.

G: What's the matter?

S: Damn can't you at least say Happy New Year?

G: Sarah, you gettin ready to go down on your prostitution charge. What's happy about this new year for you?

S: Gibbs sometimes I think you don't like me.

G: Sometimes you be right. Imagine that.

S: Anyway, my PD--you short for Public Defender, he thinks that you need to write a letter vouching for my character.

G: And put who's name on it.

S: Yours of course.

G: You must be out of your mind.

S: Gibbs stop being so touchy. You know this was my first offense.

G: No it was the first time your silly behind got caught.

S: Anyway, write a letter, tell the judge about how I love working with chillun and the good stuff I do down at my church.

G: What good stuff do you do down at your church?

S: I go.

G: And----

S: I go at least once the month.

G: You just a zealot ain't you.

S: Yes I is. What's a zealot.

G: Forget about it.

S: See my PD he thinks if I get some support from my church family it will help me in my case.

G: I don't go to your church.

S: So you do go to church? Don't you?

G: Yeah but I know you from the hood. Not from church.

S: You know I be modeling Jesus all the time.

G: Damn is Jesus a crack ho too?

S: Oooo-you is going straight to hell.

G: Sarah I got to go.

S: Write my letter or I am going tell everybody we had sex.

G: We didn't

S: I know that and you know that but those bitches you know will believe anything nasty I say.

G: Who am I writing this letter to?

S: You so sweet Gibbs

G: You are such a low down ho.

S: I bet you say that to all your women, that's exactly why you don't get none. I need that letter by Thursday. Bye.

To: Judge Washington-Wilson: Sarah is a ho with a heart of gold.