White Folks Have Drama Too Part One

This morning while I was in the midst of a deep sleep. The phone rang. I saw that it was the local hospital. Damn I thought what time is it? It was just 4:55. S**t couldn't these folk have waited an hour to die.

I jumped up hit the shower for a minute, threw on some clothes and headed for the hospital. One family was in the ER. Their relative was dead, but the doctor had not told them yet.

I walk into what they call the grieving room, Aw hell, Aw naw says the daughter, I know what's up, where in the grief room and here comes a preacher.

[Stupid me, always quick to point out that I am not a preacher,]
No ma'am I am the chaplain.

"I need MY pastor call him now."

"Not a problem, who is your pastor?"

"Don't you know my pastor?"

I am wondering does trauma make you insane? "No ma'am I do not know who your pastor may be."

"Shit--His f**king name is Creighton."

"Is that his last name? Creighton."

"No damnit, that is his first name."

"Do you have a number I can reach him at."

"Shit he supposed to be the pastor, he ought to be at the church."

I thought to myself, heifer it's 5:00 in the morning, but instead I ask and the name of the church?"

"G*d-damn it, You supposed to know this kind of s**t do they pay you for this?"

"Obivously you're not ready for me so I will come back when you get the information you need."

"Oh don't be offended, said one of the other folk, she talks like that to everybody." (Bitch you're your relative is sitting on the gurney turning ashen white while y'all waste my time, but what do I care, after the heifer was half-right I do get paid for this.)

"It is not a problem."

"Calvary MotherF**king Southern Baptist Church" Have you heard of it?

On Lancaster River Rd?

My God he knows something. (I repressed the obligatory pimp slap she deserved since, in a minute, her ass, would want to slobbering on my lab coat, but it ain't happenin)

As I was preparing to call the minister, the doctor came back down to the ER and said are you ready.

Damn I hate being there when families get the news.

Sure.

We walk in looking like the bearers of bad news.

Doctor is it serious? (Damn straight it's deadly)

I regret to inform you that Wiley died this morning.

What he's dead? How could he be dead? Did you try everything, did you shock his heart, can you still try. (Hell to the naw, the dude has been cold for about 90 minutes.)

I want to see him, but that's alright did you call Pastor Creighton?

I know he can raise my father from that gurney.

The doctor looks at me, and I look at him and say, would you like to see him?

As we are talking, Pastor Creighton comes into the room where is the deceased, he aint dead until God says so. Let's all pray.