Saturday, August 25, 2007

How Did Things Get So Wacky That...

Michael Vick, holder of a multi-million contract to play professional plus other millions in endorsements, got caught up in something as tawdry as dog fighting.

Prophetess Juanita Bynum-Weeks and her estranged Bishop Thomas Weeks once the models of love and life in Christ wind up fighting in public. How does the man of God beat the woman of God where is the love.

A Doctor and her highly educated medical researcher husband forget about the seven month old in the car seat in the back of a car in the middle of a St. Louis heat wave?

Any of us has the time to even care about how many hours Nicole Richie is going to spend in jail, whether Lindsay Lohan is going to jail, and whether Shemar Moore, RazB, Queen Latifah or any other actor, actress or former child star is gay, straight, a tramp, a trollop, celibate, promiscuous, on drugs, off drugs, too fat, too skinny, etc etc

President Bush can draw parallels between this Iraqi mish mash and the Vietnam quagmire as reason to stay the course. Haven't we learned anything from the WMD mess?

Americans can no longer separate fiction from real life and really believe that the DA from Law and Order is presidential material? Hey folks he left politics and returned to the small screen that ought to says something to us.

I actually had this conversation:

Toni: Gibbs I am calling on behalf of the Tolliver family and we want to know if you would be willing to call the pastor and ask him if the church can give us a $1000 to bury our mother.

Gibbs: Say what?

Toni: Mother Tolliver was a good member of the church and she gave tithes and offerings and we just want to know how the church is going to pay her back.

Gibbs: Say what?

Toni: That's why I hate you motherfuckin church niggahs. Y'all took mama's money now when she is $1,000 short on the funeral y'all act like she did not even go to the church.

Gibbs: Did you just call me a...

Toni: Mo-ther-fuck-in-g church nig-gah yes the fuck I sho did. My mother is dead and I am grieving and we done got 12,000 together to put her away right, and now all we need is a fucking $1000 and you bitches at Stony Top AME COGiC Baptist Fellowship and Christian Center won't give us one dime back that she gave to y'all

Gibbs: Did you just call me a...

Toni: A low down, dick sucking, pussy eating bitch yes I did now is you going to call the pastor or am I going to have to get niggerish and call that dick head myself.

Gibbs: Did you just call me a...

Toni: Got damnit Gibbs quit thinking about your low down pussy eating bitch ass self and think about somebody else's ass and what they is going through.

Gibbs: Toni are you drinking and drugging right now?

Toni: What the fuck you think I am mourning my mother is dead and she ain't leaved us nothing and we got to spend all this fucking money just to put her black ass in the ground.

Gibbs: Good bye Toni.

Toni: I knew you were a sissy ass bitch,

Gibbs: Have a good day Toni.

Toni: Aw come on Gibbs you know I was just playin. You is going to call Pastor Shithead and ask for the money right?

Gibbs: No.

Toni: Cock sucking pussy lickin bitch

Gibbs: Yo mama.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Congratulations Barry Bonds. Was it Worth it?

Congratulations to Barry Bonds. He is the new home run king. He is the man who beat out Hammering Hank and the Babe and now he stands atop the baseball world. And nobody seems happy for him.

Did he use steroids? Did he use steroids? Did he use steroids?

Probably? It hasn't been proven. He's never failed a drug test. Look at his body that's not how he used to look. (Now come on how many of our bodies look the same at 43 as the did at 23?)

Barry Bonds is the new home run king, but we really don't care, we just want to know did his "johnson" shrivel up? At least this is what I am told we will be able to find out in an upcoming issue of Playboy when his mistress shows all (herself) and tells all about him.

Barry Bonds is the new home run king but we really don't care we're just glad that it is over and now back to news we can use...When is Nicole Richie going to jail and what will she wear. Those stories and much more news and information ahead on Eyewitness News at 11.