Three Things

One of my favorite bloggers the mysterious E has tagged me. I feel so honored.

THREE THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND:
[1] Why do church folk always talk about one another?
[2] Why does Maury do baby daddy shows every damn week?
[3] Why won't I settle down with one job instead of five?

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
[1] my bible
[2] my children's photo album
[3] my antibiotics from the dentist

THREE THINGS I’M DOING RIGHT NOW:
[1] trying to figure out how to do this list.
[2] thinking about all the meetings I have tomorrow.
[3] congratulating for the White Sox for a sweep of the World Series, the AL rocks.

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
[1] see my daughter win an Oscar
[2] see my son preach his consecration sermon and win a Tony
[3] make my wife very very very happy

THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
[1] analyze a financial statement
[2] help men and women understand the nature of vocation
[3] promise never to sing in public.

THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
[1] giddy
[2] goofy
[3] great

THREE THINGS I CAN’T DO:
[1] fix a flat.
[2] pretend to like snoots
[3] carry a tune

THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
[1] Luther Vandross
[2] Jennifer Holiday sing And I am Telling You I'm Not Going
[3] Beams of Heaven by Oleta Adams

THREE THINGS I DON’T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
[1] james dobson
[2] rush limbaugh
[3] Dr. Laura

THREE THINGS YOU SAY:
[1] For real, for real (for why? for why?)
[2] Are you serious?
[3] Praise the Lord!

THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
[1] Fried Chicken
[2] Baked Chicken
[3] Did I say Chicken?

THREE THINGS YOU’D LIKE TO LEARN:
[1] speak Spanish
[2] Biblical languages
[3] how to effectively communicate with females

THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
[1] water
[2] coffee
[3] diet cola

THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
[1] The Bob Newhart Show (Set in Chicago)
[2] Maude
[3] Medical Center

THREE THINGS YOU WISH PEOPLE WOULD LEARN TO DO:
[1] be polite
[2] cell phone etiquette
[3] drive like they have some sense

THREE THINGS I WOULD CHANGE ABOUT ME:
[1] lose weight
[2] stop actin like I got adhd
[3] become an activist.


THREE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BEING A MAN:
[1] standing up to pee
[2] no periods
[3] I don't have to color my gray

THREE THINGS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH:
[1] Golden Girls Reruns
[2] Ghetto Behavior
[3] Designing Women

THREE THINGS I LOOK FOR IN A GUY (OR GAL):
[1] wonderful personality
[2] honesty
[3] humor

Now I must tag three others:

Clay Cane
Fecundmellow
my truth

Go for it.

A Black Man Considers Suicide....

Disclaimer: If you have recently lost a loved one because of suicide, please do not read this post. And if you have ever considered suicide to get back at someone for hurting you in any way then please go get some help, because logic is not working for you. Finally, if you have made a f**king mess that you do not know how to clean up, suicide will just cause people to hate your guts forever.

One of the most ridiculous thoughts that has ever crossed my mind is what would happen if I committed suicide.

First, the people who love me ought to be mad as hell. People who commit suicide are self centered ego maniacs wait that's too broad. If I committed suicide, I would be a self centered egomaniac.

Second, the person who discovered me, ought to kick my ass just for the hell of it. What a friggin ugly interruption to a day. On top of all that you got to call the police, and wait around and answer questions that you would not be able to answer.

Third, somebody ought to buy a billboard and write Harold Gibson is an asshole.

Fourth, if in my commission of suicide I involved another person, I would think I would have earned a one way ticket to hell for I had no damn business causing grief for all these people just to salve my wounded sense of self.

Fifth, if my financial affairs are out of whack, and I don't have the funds to bury me, and maintain the house for a while, please kick my ass even though I am dead.

I guess that having considered suicide, living through the pain and the shame is better especially since I believe God will walk with me.


Enjoy Life!

Oh I Forgot to Tell You...God and a little Crystal Goes a Long Way

Now that Ashley Smith has admitted that it took a little more than Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life to quell her captor, I wonder why people often forget pertinent details when telling a juicy story.

Now don't get me wrong, I am sure Smith was scared out of her mind, but I feel like she tricked us, telling us all about God and how it he brought her through, when she should have told the whole story at first.

Why? Because she was discredited her testimony. Cynics like me now believe that her captor was high as a kite when he gave her up rather than converted.

I always wondered what in the Purpose Driven Life would cause someone to give up their freedom, the book is pablum for the already convinced and a horrible piece of theological drivel. Warren takes scripture out of context like an addict smokes crack and he just doesn't care. But, he's made a mint off this so I am wracking my brain but I got a problem about mis handling scripture, but that will be another post.

I find it interesting that she left this out unless she was thinking this might work for me, and help me sell the book, that little detail nobody knew about.

Unfortunately this drug incident, will not make her popular among the religious because it was all about God and now God has to share the spotlight with Crystal Meth.

Ashley will sell some books but I believe she probably on the 13th minute of her 15.

The Answer is NO

My lovely daughter called me today and we discussed one of the recent stumbles she encountered in life. About a month ago her "new" boyfriend, confessed that he and his old girlfriend were pregnant.

To her credit my lovely one did not lose her mind or even snap at the brother, but I know in a way her heart was broken. But like her dad, she is a trouper, and she never lets anyone know when they get to her.

So this dude who we shall call lameassnegro, who I did call out as a lameassnegro when I met him, (because I am a good judge of character) catches up with daddy's darling at the mall where they work and he invites her to the baby shower.

It seems his babymama and him were havin a baby shower and he could invite some people so he invites daddy's darling. (now when she told me this I had a few choice words for the lame ass motherf**er, i mean negro.) She said she told him she knew it was the 21st century and all but that was more than she really needed to do.

Daddy he's been listening to that old skool music station too long. He must think I am going to bust up in the joint singin that old lame song you used to play by Vesta
Congratulations.

He told my daughter that the fact that he was about to be somebody's daddy and somebody's babydaddy should not keep them from hanging together. So let's go out next week or something.

The daughter said to herself is this for real. Then once she realized that he was serious she looked at him and said The answer is NO.

I'm so proud.